No, I’m not asking you for things *wink* I’m here to give you a quick list of recommended items to buy the milking or lactation fan on your holiday list!

For those who are satisfied (or limited to) the voyeuristic thrills of milking maids, there are two hot films…

Busty Lactations is a best of compilation DVD; 120 minutes of the “cream” of the crop of scenes and loops from milk squirting, sucking, dripping and spraying films from the 1970s, from the Golden Age of Porn, and the 1980′s, when Blackie was *ahem* a younger man.

The boys liked that one so much, they’ve now put Milk Maid on the list — and guess who gets to earn the money for the DVD? Yup, it’s me.

These films are even making Blackie re-think his usual “it’s too messy” rejection and have him considering making the fantasy a reality. Hence his exhaustive research with this last item on the lactation list: Deluxe Breast Pumping Kit!

While this won’t milk until you’re maid or hucow already has milk coming in, it will deliver pumping results. It has both nipple and breast cylinders — and a t-hose connector which allows you to use both at the same time for double the pumping! So, if she’s making milk, this will pump it out; if she’s not, she’s still going to feel the pumping action.

As if watching the first film didn’t make me squirm enough!