Following Blackie’s order that I confess five things I am afraid of, today’s confession is about that farmer fellow…

Here are parts of email exchanges from him which I think rather nicely encapsulates the severity of what he’s talking about:

Many have pets, puppies and kittens they allow to be companion animals; I’m looking for a particular piece of livestock.

As an a piece of livestock in our community, we’ll control when, where, how and what you sleep, eliminate bodily waste, menstruate, produce milk, bathe, cry, laugh, come.

…We’ll decide when and what you eat — and you will be producing some of your own food, cow.

This isn’t some cuddly pet ownership; livestock is expected to perform duties.

…Like many human – animal relationships, part of your worth is how much you entertain us. You won’t be fetching tennis balls, or sitting at feet purring and awaiting use; no, as livestock you’ll be judged in public shows and competitions — along with providing private entertainment.

Where to begin?

Marc has often complained that Blackie treats me too much like a pampered pet, so I know he finds this sort of thing more to his liking… But can even he imagine or go far as to control when I “eliminate bodily waste, menstruate, produce milk,” etc.?

That’s as base as it gets.

I can’t even wrap my mind about how all this is done…

For that reason, Blackie has ordered me to do some research, to ask the farmer himself what he has in mind… Obviously the latter has me terrified.

But perhaps what’s most on my mind is why Blackie is even entertaining such talks… Is this something he really wants me to do? Or is this just some investigative work into my fears, my mind…