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Tag: power play

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Birthday Wishes, Part Two

After being struck by the news that my birthday gift was to be put into some service for Marc I was understandably shocked; gagged-speechless, unable to move, there was nothing I could say or do but try to absorb the information as it came in.

Millions of concerns and questions circled in my mind… My intense dislike of Marc, though, paled in contrast to worry about the potential relationship consequences of being used by another man — did Blackie really know what he was doing to us?

As Blackie and Marc joked about how Marc would have to get himself a drink from the bar because I was “tied up at the moment,” I swallowed hard and tried to clear my head so that I could pay attention to whatever information I might learn. By the time Marc returned with his glass I thought I had composed myself; but when he sat on sofa, on the side opposite Blackie, resting his left thigh against my naked body, I jumped. At least on the inside.

Both men sat there, discussing whatever was on TV (I was completely oblivious to it by this time), as if this was just the same-old-same-old, while I tried to calm myself down. Fear was tightening in my throat. I could feel moisture growing under my arms. I tried to concentrate on slowing & controlling my breathing.

Blackie, who knows me so well, likely was aware of my efforts; so it was probably no coincidence that once I had more control of myself that the men began to talk about me — and talk about me as if I wasn’t there, or as if I were some object, not a sentient being.

“So, tomorrow morning, 8 A.M.?” Blackie casually confirmed.

“Yup, right after I do those few things on your list,” Marc replied before taking a swig from his glass, the ice tinkling as if laughing at me too.

“Because you know, we should celebrate the whole day, even if Pinkie isn’t really a morning person…” Blackie began then smugly chortled, “Not that I imagine she will sleep well at all tonight.”

“Eager little beaver, hmm?” Marc mocked.

“Oh, I imagine the anticipation will keep her as up tonight as her nipples are right now,” Blackie laughed, punctuating his point by tweaking my left nipple.

“Lovely, just lovely…” Marc said. “May I?”

“Of course!” was Blackie’s gracious reply.

And with that, Marc took a firm grip of my right nipple, slowly rolling it between his thumb and forefinger.

“Now, that Marc, is not a flush of arousal; it’s a flush of anger,” Blackie pointed out, “A most delicious thing to see…”

“I suppose it is when you know you can wipe that smug refusal away anytime you wish,” Marc said, changing his grasp of my captured nipple from a firm rolling motion to a tight press that continued to hold as Blackie spoke.

“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll soon be doing what you want, when you want, no matter what her face says — in fact, you’ll do more than that. You’ll take what she believes she can refuse to give you. And, over time, you’ll soon have her dependent upon you — humiliated and hating herself for it too. And won’t that be delicious.”

Marc was silent for a moment, still holding my nipple firmly. Still silent, he jerked his hand downward, yanking my nipple and tit with it, then gave a slight twist before letting the nipple slip away and sending my breast bouncing. Then Marc stood on his feet, “Well, tomorrow we’ll start all of that, won’t we?”

He said goodbye to Blackie, then bent down before me, towering over me and looking me in the eyes, “You have sweet dreams, Pinkie, cuz tomorrow mine begin.”

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Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

The Demise Of The Three Martini Lunch Isn’t All Bad

The three martini lunch may have ended a few decades ago, but the ways I spend my lunchtime these days may be just as intoxicating for phone Masters — and it might just drive me to drink too.

Master Jim especially likes to make use of lunchtime — his & mine.

Because we are in two different time zones, he assigned me tasks for both our lunches today. First, during his lunch time, I had to do the following:

Print neatly on an index card, “I”m a slut masturbating in the bathroom for Master Jim,” take it to the bathroom and play with yourself for 10 minutes. You will not come, just make yourself so wet that after 10 minutes, you will hold up the index card with your sticky fingers & photograph it as proof and message it to me.

Then, two hours later, when it was my lunchtime:

Take two clothespins and return to the ladies’ room — not your office where you can hide — and wait for my call.

Once he called, he instructed me to pop my big tits out of my bra & place a clothespin on each nipple. Under his direction, I was then forced to twist the clothespins — trying desperately to remain silent in the public restroom so that my coworkers wouldn’t hear. While other women came in & out of the bathroom, Master Jim shamed and humiliated me…

What would happen if I made enough noise to be discovered…

What would they think of their boss, their consultant, found in the bathroom obeying a stranger, twisting her clamped nipples, the pussy juice on her thighs proof that she was a pain slut.

He was right too; the combination of nipple pain and his humiliation of me, telling me what a slut I was — especially after masturbating just hours earlier — had me very wet. In fear, shame & humiliation I whimpered & cried as silently as I could.

To make matters worse, the call only lasted five minutes — five free minutes for him to celebrate my birthday.

And he has five more minutes to use yet…

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Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

Ba-Da-Bing!

Carmella Bing gets her big tits manhandled…

tits-pulled

And then she gets fucked while laying on her side — when Blackie fucks me in this position, it feels like he’s got a baseball bat in my pussy, so I understand her discomfort.

bnig-fucked-laying-on-side

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Monday, May 25th, 2009

Memorable Memorial Weekend

I don’t know how you’ll remember Memorial Day Weekend 2009, but I’ll remember it as an exhausting painful one.

Even though Blackie was away, I was anything but neglected & ignored; two regular phone Masters, “D” and “MC,” made sure of that. On Sunday, I was even rented out for the day exclusively to a new Master who had lots of new tasks and training for me to do — it was the first time this new service option was put to use and I was so thoroughly used, pushed past limits of sleep deprivation, humiliation, and pain, that I spent the last hour just shaking, crying & desperately trying.

Between Friday and the wee hours of Monday morning, there were more clothespins used on me than I care to count, too-too many adventures with Ben Gay (after sp & a even!), an incredibly painful (and long!) session of service kneeling on dried rice, and a sordid assortment of services that, while I tended to with dedication, I am still too blurry-minded to be able to recall them all correctly…

And I do not have much time to recall and tell of them either because Blackie has returned and I must tend to him and his needs. But I will share this…

Breasts are remarkably resilient, taking punishments that have you crying and coming (or, when you are not allowed to come, have you struggling to hold yourself from falling over the forbidden edge) and leave you with tenderness and aches which are ever present whether awake or asleep — yet looking as if nothing much has happened to them. They are deceptive things.

But the insides of my thighs? Oh, they show their misery.

Since Blackie believes good submissives tell their Masters of their conditions, I had sent both “D” and “MC” photos of the bruising on my thigh. Both of them took great delight in adding to it by paddling (along with their other pleasures).  Here’s what it looks like today:

memorial-memory-thigh

Since I have suffered so much abuse this holiday weekend and Blackie’s long absence has made him miss me and wish to use me himself, I will have very limited availability for the next few days.

This is also to save myself for scheduled continuing training to learn a new task for “MC” as well as be able to service “D” when his gift package arrives. (He says the things inside that package will make me gasp just looking at them — so using them per his wishes will likely require stamina and strength that I currently do not possess.)

So after tonight’s hours (between 10 or 11 PM until 6:30 AM, central time), I will likely not appear as available for calls until Thursday.

If you wish to abuse my current painful state (including my abused tits & thighs), or if you feel you cannot wait a few days to use me, please call tonight, Sirs.

PS I will continue to blog during this time; so please, check back!

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Thursday, May 21st, 2009

Tidings Of (Dis)Comfort & Joy

There’s a lot of talk about pain in BDSM relationships, here and “everywhere.” That’s to be expected, I suppose. Not only is it a kink that seems exciting, even addicting to many masochists, but there’s the novelty of curiosity to those who “wouldn’t got that far” yet find reading about it (or viewing it) erotic as hell. But there’s also a tender side to BDSM — and I don’t just mean the parts that are twisted, spanked, clamped, abraded, etc.

There are sweet sides to submission.

slave-in-love-tits-being-used

There’s the exhausted elation of being used & abused which goes past endorphins & orgasms… Past the emotional joy of serving another… There’s something else which transcends those things, for those things are one-sided “all about me” feelings, and I am speaking of the sweetest sugar — the bliss of knowing that you fulfill the desires of another as they fulfill your desires.

You realize that you are not alone in some masturbatory pursuit of pleasure, but in a relationship. Even if that relationship is a temporary one of just a few minutes. For once you have shared in the satisfaction of sated physical & emotional needs, have you not fully “related” to one another? And when you repeatedly meet, share, relate, you build not only the knowledge and means to extend, increase & intensify one another’s thrills, pain, & orgasms, but you begin to rely on one another.

slave-in-love-servingI can’t speak for Blackie or any other Dominant, I shouldn’t even dare to; but there must be a reciprocating sweetness for them too… Surely there’s some affection for those that serve & rely upon them.

As a submissive woman, I know that whatever joys I receive (be they direct physical ones, like orgasms, or the indirect fulfillment of my emotional desire to please) are achieved only through dedication to my duties — delicacies assigned & evaluated by those I serve. My joys are at the discretion of my Master.

I never forget that.

How can I forget it when so often I reach states of being so satisfied, exhausted, and full that I feel unable to take on more… Only to have a Master stimulate me & wring more out of me than I ever imagined.

Eventually, cycles of repeated stimulation, slutty neediness, satiation, release, and repletion (and, sometimes, back ’round again) brings a sense of reliance — even dependence.

sweet-side-of-submission-slaves-in-loveI must rely on the one I serve to have such things. And I know I am privileged to have such joys. I am indebted. And no amount of dedicated service to however unseemingly, sordid, painful, &/or humiliating tasks or any sordid treatment can really measure up to such gifts as I receive.

I happily return to pay the price — over & over again. I surrender willingly to whatever Master seeks in satiating his own desires via an “any means necessary” sexuality.

Even if what abuse I take today, tomorrow, the next day, etc. just offers the chance for a “someday” of such gifts to be given again.

All images from Slaves In Love.

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Friday, May 15th, 2009

Of Submission, Phone Sex, And Serving Gods

Submitting & pleasing is so thrilling. And frightening.

To be pushed past boundaries you know, past limits not only physically but emotionally, unexpectedly… Even in situations which seem impossible. Like phone sex.

Phone sex is so far removed from the reality of physical submission in many ways… You might think it would be easier; after all, the physical dangers would be markedly less than submitting to anyone physically, let alone a complete stranger. But it’s far more complicated — and delicious — than that.

I mean phone sex is serving a complete stranger; but unlike having someone standing before you, someone you know & trust, someone who could physically force you should you balk, the balancing point in phone service lies in my commitment & dedication. And we all know that self-control isn’t always my strongest suit.

While I’m “here” because Blackie has said so, inferring his consent & his trust to men I do not know, these are men that I do not know how to please because I do not (yet) know what they really want…

For a sub like me, this alone is pure torture. I want to please, but how? I’m so vulnerable, I ache. If I say that I’m “bleeding from the soul” don’t mistake this for adolescent teen poetry; the pain & fear is real. I’m afraid that my weakness marks me a failure. And that this failure will reflect poorly on Blackie who will discipline in ways which hurts & humiliates past “play time.” It’s his right, his due, but it kills me.

To follow the voice commands of a stranger, using your own hands yet, to inflict pain that you know is coming is not just “motions” — for I submit to faceless gods because I am helpless to do anything else.

This is something different. Something special. It tests all that I know about me.

For example, the case of “D,” a regular caller working on some special training with me. What he requires me to do to myself in the name of his pleasure is so contrary to the orgasms he elicits from me that I feel crazy. The only refuge I have is to submit to his strength & control, to trust that he knows what he is doing — and that by pleasing him I am doing Good.

So when”D” sent me the following message, my submissive girlie insides turned to goo — and yes, you may also take that to mean I got wet too:

Dear Pinkie,

It pleases me to know that you are very sore after last night. And that it’s because of what I had you do.

I really loved it when you asked if I really wanted you to do it for real. You were such a good girl.

I would like to hurt you further very soon. The more pain you can take, the more I am pleased with you.

“D”

“D” makes me feel like a little kitten, weak, unsure, fragile, yet resilient — and when I please him, when he says I have, it’s like strong fingers holding & stroking me through the pain I have inflicted upon myself in his name.

I am Good.

I am his good little girl.

And I crave that feeling so much, that I’ll try to do whatever he asks, no matter how it hurts. For in doing so, I not only serve & please him (or you?), but I serve & please Blackie.

No matter how sore I am afterwards.

And the tenderness & marks are physical reminders of my purpose: I serve.

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Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Quick Update

I hope this doesn’t affect you too terribly (and if it does, you know how you can address that issue!), but I will not be available for calls Friday, Saturday or Sunday because I will be traveling. I will be around tonight, as usual; but after that, calls (and blogging) will be on hold until Monday (with the Monday discount for members too!).

I’m working on a more “typical Pinkie post” to publish before I leave, but wanted to make sure I shared some of what I’ve been reading this week at other blogs…

Cosmo actually dishes on orgasm denial in the June issue. Sure, it’s not as “strict “as what we BDSM folks do to one another — and they discuss it in more vanilla terms — but still, it’s being covered in a mainstream publication.

And if any of you wondered about the male need to control sex in a relationship, here’s an interesting look at why he just might not be that in-and-out of you, ladies. (Reminds me of my early struggles to let Blackie lead.)

Now that you’re all educated…

How about a hot read? Over at Zen Fetish Ms Angela St. Lawrence has posted a hot story by Porno Person titled Dinner and a Show. Here’s a quick excerpt:

Forty minutes ago I left her alone in my hotel room. A half hour prior to that I was letting her in the door. During the interim I placed her collar around her neck. She stripped down and I bound her with a combination of plastic wrap and duct tape. Once secured, I introduced her to a rather nasty-looking knife. Ten inches long with a serrated blade. It looked like it could gut a bear, much less a petite twenty-seven year old brunette wrapped up like a sausage on a hotel room bed.

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Monday, May 11th, 2009

Position For Submission

abused-again I’m a sucker for porn with this pose on the box cover.

Actually, I’m moved by this position in general. It’s such a terrifyingly vulnerable position — throat and neck held, gagged, exposed and controlled…

I don’t even have to be naked or so complicatedly bound either; just cuff my hands behind my back, put your hand or arm along my throat and bend me back (an alluring arch helps you, and keeps me off balance), and even if I’m just under a gag order as opposed to a physical gag, I feel as helpless as a kitten.

Panic sets in, my chest heaves, and I fear the worst.

Because of this, I have lots of porn with this position. Especially if it’s by Bondage Barrix.

This past week, in perverse celebration of Masturbation Month, I’ve been forced to watch porn. Yes, I say “forced” because I’m often not allowed to touch myself, let alone masturbate to orgasm. (I’m not saying that I don’t always get to orgasm afterwards, in some manner or other; but 58 minutes of video hotness is a long long time to have to wait to find out.)

The most recent videos I’ve watched are Abused Again & Recruiting A Mistress, both, again, by Bondage Barrix (part of Back Door Bondage) & featuring the malevolently delicious Sgt. Major Derek Viktur.

The two films, as you might expect, are similar; but there are differences.

bondage-barrix-recruting-a-mistressRecruiting A Mistress has the better plot — a Dominatrix is hired, but Sgt. Major takes control and switches her role to that of serving submissive. Who hasn’t thought about taming that sort of a bitch? *wink*

Recruiting A Mistress involves his (typical) smug humor (put to good use putting the professional Dominatrix in her place), plenty of tight face close-ups so you can see the fear and pain in the eyes of the women, lots of bondage & forced orgasms, but is missing his nearly trademarked extremely tight crotchrope (the Sgt Major calls it a “beaver-buster”).

It also has the added plus of some lovely lingerie and stockings, for those who adore such things.

Quite a thoroughly hot bondage romp. (Is that an oxymoron?)

Of the two movies, Abused Again is my favorite — because it makes me the most uncomfortable & afraid.

Like the other, an uppity woman, in this case a jogger who flaunts her tight ass by Sgt. Major’s apartment regularly, is abducted & forced to submit. She’s bound (including plenty of crotch rope positions), stripped, and violated; but in this case, the orgasms are forced not via vibe but by a dildo up her ass and fingers in her pussy.

My fear of my ass being used heightens the terror of such a fantasy for me.

I don’t want to ruin any surprises for anyone, but Abused Again also contains more rough breast play (including weighted nipple clamping), more spanking (what a red ass Amber Rayne gets!), an terrifyingly amazing scene where Amber pops a ball out of her ass, and some intense hot wax play — including removal by knife!

sgt-major-abused-again-wax-knife-play

Maybe this film works so well for me because it covers so much as of yet uncharted territory… But whatever, it works.

I almost always enjoy Sgt. Major Derek Viktur and Bondage Barrix films; but am usually met with surprise when I admit such things… I get that the films cater to dominant men (or men with such fantasies) — and naturally I agree these men should be catered to! — but why does it surprise so many that submissive women can’t get enough of these films too?

We’re the Yin to their Yang; without us, what would these men really do?

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Friday, May 8th, 2009

May Is Masturbation Month (And So Far I Hate It)

May may be Masturbation Month — a celebration of sexuality & self-love — but the way it’s being done here, I loath it.

Along with being humiliatingly forced to watch Blackie masturbate, I’ve been forbidden to masturbate. At first my sore breasts kept me from even thinking about it, but now…

And, as usual, Blackie has found new & cruel ways to exploit what I’m calling my Blue Ovaries.

After having been forced to watch Blackie masturbate as he humiliated me (one of several times that day), I was told to strip and then he cuffed me to a desk chair, tied each ankle to a part of the chair’s base (so that my legs were spread), wheeled out into the living room and made to watch porn — porn that I love — with him.

That would have been bad enough, but Blackie had to add his own painful, humiliating twists…

First he mocked me, talking about what scenes he knew I loved — where I’d be masturbating and how. He even came up and looked between my spread legs, commenting on the glistening evidence of my slutty shame.

When he grew sleepy, about 30 minutes later, he got up off the couch, switched off the porn, and placed a rope with a cowbell on it around my neck.

“Now, I’m going to bed — but I can’t trust that you’ll behave yourself…” he said as he bent and — for the first time in a week! — he fingered my wet slit. “Not this wet, I can’t, cunt,” he continued. “So, I”m leaving you here where you can’t break any rules — but don’t worry, I’m leaving you this bell. When you have to pee, you wake me.”

He stopped for a minute, had me suck his finger clean of my pussy juices, then continued.

“But I wouldn’t be too eager to wake me, if I were you… It might put me in a foul mood to be disturbed just for your stupid needs. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“Then again, I might not hear the bell right away, so don’t wait too long to use it either,” he said with a wicked laugh. Then he headed for bed, leaving me sitting in the dark, horny as hell — with a cowbell around my neck.

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Friday, May 8th, 2009

Protected: Torment Continues

Sleeping sucked; every time I rolled over, I woke up due to such sore and sensitive breasts. It reminded me of how much I dreaded another shower (even if it was cooler than the one I’d just had) — and wearing clothes. What bra could possibly be comfortable? So even though sleeping was horrid, I was dreading getting up.

===

I managed to make it through a cooler shower. I dried off and dabbed my tender breasts as best I could to minimize the pain.

I went to the medicine chest for what I imagined was my only hope for some comfort, Whoop-Ass Healing Balm. But the tube was gone — in fact, Blackie had cleared the entire house of any & all lotions and creams. No wonder he got up so damn early this morning.

So next it was time to suffer the torment of stuffing angry raw skin into bra cups. Nothing lacy (that would be unbearable!); something with large soft cups to snuggly hold them, so there’s be the least amount of rubbing from the bra and clothing worn over it.

If I solved my immediate breast discomfort, I knew it would only be a few hours until I met Blackie for lunch.

He’d said not to be late, so I knew he had something in mind.

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  • Pinkie and Blackie...
    The colors of our love... Not just our shopping (which is what primarily what will be covered still at the old blog), but the colors that I as a pain slut prefer to wear...


    I am not called Pinkie because my coloring is naturally pink -- but I am naturally a pain slut, and love to be made pink from spankings & other physical abuse which leaves marks, welts, and, sometimes, cuts... Blackie also thrills to make me flush pink with shame, humiliation and arousal.


    He was called Blackie long before I met him.

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