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Tag: orgasm denial

Friday, June 12th, 2009

Protected: How Some Masters Use Me In Messages

One of the perks of using NiteFlirt is the ability to pay for services in Pay Per View messages — like this.

Master Jim sent a message for me take very small rubber bands and wrap them twice around each nipple — not very easily done with such large nipples & small rubber bands, especially when you have long nails. But the greater difficulties were still to come…

Once the rubber bands were on, my nipples began to sting — sending waves of desire in my hungry pussy. But Master Jim had ordered me not to touch myself (feeding my cunt’s desire & distracting me from the pain). I was to occupy my time by taking photos of my nipples & sending them to him for 15 minutes, until he called.

When Master Jim called, I greeted him as have been trained to and then I continued to do as I was told.

First, I was to sit with my knees up & legs spread wide in front of a mirror so that I could tell him every visible change in my pussy as well as describe what I felt. (I’ve never done that before; it added a level of emotional discomfort which Master Jim exploited further, using my own body’s reactions to pain to humiliate me.)

Thanks to Master Jim’s willingness to share, Member Masters can see a few of the photos & read more details when they enter their password below.

(If you are not a Member Master & do not have the password to see all protected or Bound Posts, here’s how you get it.)

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Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

Protected: Not Just Any Furious; Bitch Wife Furious

Blackie was quite pleased with himself for what he called his “Stay In School, Kids!” Public Service Announcement, but now that the threat was passed, I was furious.

Not just any furious; bitch wife furious.

“What the hell, Blackie,” I snapped at him, stuffing my tits back into my bra. “I could have been raped, we could have been hurt, robbed or killed–”

I was met with Blackie’s uproarious laughter, but continued my tirade anyway. “Hey, two nicely dressed business folks from out of town gettin’ down in an alley? What easy marks–”

“Get over it, Pinkie, they were kids.”

“And so then you decide to give them a lewd show? A misogynistic sex show?!

“Oh come on now,” he laughed. Then after a brief pause during which I fumed, he said, “You loved it, you slut.”

My fear had already turned to anger, but his accusation made me get really angry. “You’re an ass,” was all I spat at him, riding in silence the rest of the way to our hotel.

At the hotel, I sailed past him in an Ice Princess freeze-out, heading to our room. Sure, he was just a few strides behind me, but I was smug in the knowledge that he was forced to walk in my icy wake.

Once I got into the hotel room, I kicked my shoes off and headed for the bathroom — but before I could get there, Blackie grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked me onto the bed. Before I could even gasp, he had me on my back and was on top of me, forcefully ramming his knee between my legs, hiking my skirt up, ripping my blouse open. Even though my clothes were technically on, all my sweet spots were exposed.

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Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Quick Update

I hope this doesn’t affect you too terribly (and if it does, you know how you can address that issue!), but I will not be available for calls Friday, Saturday or Sunday because I will be traveling. I will be around tonight, as usual; but after that, calls (and blogging) will be on hold until Monday (with the Monday discount for members too!).

I’m working on a more “typical Pinkie post” to publish before I leave, but wanted to make sure I shared some of what I’ve been reading this week at other blogs…

Cosmo actually dishes on orgasm denial in the June issue. Sure, it’s not as “strict “as what we BDSM folks do to one another — and they discuss it in more vanilla terms — but still, it’s being covered in a mainstream publication.

And if any of you wondered about the male need to control sex in a relationship, here’s an interesting look at why he just might not be that in-and-out of you, ladies. (Reminds me of my early struggles to let Blackie lead.)

Now that you’re all educated…

How about a hot read? Over at Zen Fetish Ms Angela St. Lawrence has posted a hot story by Porno Person titled Dinner and a Show. Here’s a quick excerpt:

Forty minutes ago I left her alone in my hotel room. A half hour prior to that I was letting her in the door. During the interim I placed her collar around her neck. She stripped down and I bound her with a combination of plastic wrap and duct tape. Once secured, I introduced her to a rather nasty-looking knife. Ten inches long with a serrated blade. It looked like it could gut a bear, much less a petite twenty-seven year old brunette wrapped up like a sausage on a hotel room bed.

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Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

Protected: The Most Humiliating Hurtful Punishment Yet

Blackie’s so angry at my earlier embarrassing failure with the UK Dom’s instruction that he hasn’t touched me since that domesticated kiss of perfunctory purity on my cheek before bed. Even though I pleased the UK Dom last night, I can feel Blackie’s cold anger & disdain growing daily…

I wish it was a hot anger, combined with a cock full of unspent come, which would make him mount me and use me for his pleasure; but it’s not. I think it’s my forced posting of my shame here which continues to shame him — even thought it’s not is fault in anyway; I and my services are a reflection of him.

But now that I have met the UK Dom’s task, Blackie has set himself to seriously punishing me himself.

And this is the worst thing yet.

To read the complete story, enter the password (or see Bound Posts for info on how to get the password).

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Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

Punished To His Satisfaction

Blackie & I are both very happy that the UK Dom was able to see to his satisfied punishment of me last night, the details of which are as follows…

First, he made this slut masturbate her insatiable cock hungry cunt to orgasm and immediately upon orgasming, tell him the details of how I did it, how it felt.

It was easy to do, especially knowing that I was being judged and evaluated for my performance… Was my sluttish little cunt coming too fast? Because you know I came both quickly & hard. It was a wonderful release, both to have the pleasure of permission to come and to be following his orders to the letter after the agony of waiting to hear of his disappointment and punishment.

But this was only the first two steps…

Step three was repeat the process — and to “be sure to be fucking your little cock-hole as fast as you can when you cum this time.”

It was even easier than the first time; when I come, the more fucking and orgasms I want… Of course, I told him this when I messaged him that I’d followed his orders again. Those I serve must be told of my weaknesses — it is their choice to exploit, assist, or train as they wish.

Step four was to do it all again, but this time I was only to use my fingers and saliva, “if you need lube… (which I very much doubt).” Of course no lube was needed… I’m such a slut.

When I quickly brought myself to the third instructed orgasm in less than an hour, the UK Dom gave me the fifth step: “Step 5: this is the important part now…you have cum three times in less than an hour… so now, you will bring yourself to the point of orgasm WITHOUT cuming … you may only play with your clit and cunt, and you will message me once you have brought yourself to the brink. Let me make this clear – you WILL NOT CUM.”

It was easy to bring myself to the point of orgasm as instructed — but it was difficult to hold it back and not slip over the delicious edge that was just waiting, begging, for me to go over… But I managed to hold on and messaged him to let him know.

Then my phone rang.

It was He, and the sound of his voice…

Commanding me to masturbate my already soaked and wanting pussy — to the sound of his voice made me so slick… Before he was a (hot!) faceless looming dark figure in my imagination, ordering me about, but now his voice was in my head, giving orders, calling me a slut. Honestly, at that point I could have sat as still as a statue and just heard him talking, describing, and I could have come — again.

But of course I wasn’t allowed to.

I wasn’t allowed to orgasm or sit still.

I managed to do as he instructed, fuck my hot cunt per his orders and not come. Sure, I had to ask for permission to stop finger-fucking myself to maintain control. He granted it — briefly. I could tell he wasn’t pleased with my sluttish lack of self-control, but he was kind & experienced enough to allow me chances to catch my breath, avoid spilling over the edge — but not generous enough to make it easy.

For example, when he granted me permission to remove my fingers from my wet & hungry slit, he described his big hard cock dripping with pre-come, asking me if I wanted it… Of course I did! And he had me slap my pussy — which didn’t make avoiding orgasm easy when he’d just described his balls hitting me.

And when he told me that my cunt was his to use — making me say that my cunt was his to use! — I could barely contain myself.  I squirmed & contorted trying to hold back the orgasm as I was ordered to do.

A few minutes later, when he again instructed me to slap my pussy — four times, that time — I panted that the slaps were bringing me too close… He mocked me with a “poor baby, I had no idea…” that made my already flushed face heat with a deeper shade of shameful crimson. Of course he knew just what he was asking of me!

I was allowed to suck his cock — I thought it would be a break, but as I sucked my sticky fingers clean in mimicry of his dick, I had to listen to him talk about his big hard cock and my slutty cock-hungry cunt. Several times I got lost in the heat and lust… Wanting desperately to hear him but unable to focus, lost… Trying to at least keep myself from my one true task: Not to orgasm.

I honestly don’t know how I managed to make it through that call without an orgasm — but I did.

Then I had to sit and wait by the phone, because he said he might call again. The anticipation of another call — maybe with the chance to orgasm for him?! — was nearly unbearable. The combination of sitting in such anticipation atop a hungry wet slit, throbbing & demanding its needs for a “missed orgasm” made me shake like a leaf on a tree.

Wait.
Wait.
Wait.

And then a message.

Well, I am pleased.

You may report to Blackie that, for my part, you have completed your assignment and that I am satisfied. Although, of course, it will be for Him to decide when you will be allowed to orgasm again. HAHA!

Look forward to speak to again soon pinkie (although it won’t be tonight) I am finished with you for the evening – you may sign off whenever you are ready, but just to be clear – no orgasm until Blackie decides otherwise.

My personal (and very intimate) frustration aside (I was so hoping I could come for him on the phone!), hearing him say (for now that I’d heard his voice I could play it back in my head), “I am finished with you for the evening,” made me groan aloud.

Such mixed emotions…

The frustration with being denied an orgasm, pride at having accomplished my task, hope to serve and please him again… And when he left such kind feedback for me, I thought I’d come with the pleasure of finally having pleased him and therefore Blackie as well.  The shaking resumed, and it reminded me that I’d have to relive all of this again in my required posting of it… Which posed the very real threat of my possible future failure to maintain the no orgasm policy.  Especially as I have no idea how long Blackie would command it.

But now I had to take this confused pleasure-ridden and pleasure-denied body to bed.  Only two hours until I had to get up for work — and comply with Blackie’s next punishing tasks.

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Sunday, May 3rd, 2009

I Fail, And Fail, And Fail Again

During my first few hours at NiteFlirt something went terribly wrong — my phone didn’t ring and I missed a call. No one knows why, but it happened. While the loss of points on a new account with no rating left me with a negative score, the real problem was that I failed the caller and therefore I had failed Blackie.

No good could come of this.

Extremely nervous and apologetic, I told Blackie about the situation. As expected Blackie was upset with me for not only had I failed to do his bidding but I had embarrassed him with another Dom. *shudder*

Whatever humiliation Blackie felt would be passed onto me. Of that I was sure. But he did not mention my punishment — yet. My first duty was to please the man I had displeased.

Blackie who instructed me to give the caller free minutes along my profuse apologies — but because the caller was from the UK, NF wouldn’t let me give him free minutes. So Blackie came up with a list of ways for me to make amends which I promptly sent to the caller:

“So I have Blackie’s permission to do any of the following — your choice:

* discount a call to $1 a minute

* “speak” with you via messages here at NF for a punishment

* perform a task for you at your direction post it publicly at my blog

* have you chastise/humiliate/punish me and I post it at the blog for all to see my shame and that your will is done”

Once that message was sent, it was sit back and anxiously await the reply.

When the reply came, it was with great trepidation that I, with Blackie supervising over my shoulder, opened the message:

pinkie,

You are clearly in need of chastisement, punishment and humiliation, all of which I will attend to in person when we DO manage to speak… however, in the meantime, with your Master Blackie’s permission, I require that you post an account of the completion of the following supervised punishment:

To be stripped and spanked (to a rosey pink) before being ordered to lie on your back, legs spread wide, for your Master to supervise you masturbating yourself to the point of orgasm WITHOUT being allowed to cum. Then, after allowing two full minutes without stimulation, you will bring yourself to this point again repeat this twice more. No orgasms will be allowed for a further 48 hours. All under Blackie’s supervision and with any suitable punishments issued should you fail. :-)

Hopefully you’ll be able to answer the phone next time ;-)

My compliments to Blackie,

(NiteFlirt User ID)

Nervously I babbled something about how the caller sure knew my weaknesses to punish me via orgasm denial — Blackie cut me off with a curt, silent nod and then he strode from the room.

He’d accepted & would oversee my punishment. But I didn’t know when… And his silence was cold and deafening.

Complicating the anticipatory anxiety for me was the fact that I’m, as mentioned briefly before, not as in control of my orgasms as I should be. How was I going to manage masturbating to the brink and stop multiple times?

But if I didn’t…

Too much was riding on this to fail again. I had to do it perfectly.

===

Blackie ordered me to strip & stand before him completely naked. You’d think I’d be used to this by now, but it always makes me nervous. Especially when he remains completely dressed, as he was. I stand not only physically exposed before his position of authority, but know that I am being critically evaluated — in this case, judged & found wanting, disappointing… It’s humbling and my knees go weak. But it wouldn’t stop there.

First, I was read the humiliating NF message. It was like being sentenced in court.

But the judge had his own thoughts to add too.

“You’ve been a complete disappointment to me, Pinkie,” Blackie began. “Do you have any idea of the insult you’ve given me?”

His tone told me that his question was rhetorical, that I shouldn’t dare to speak even an apologetic agreement. Tears stung in my eyes.

“I’ll carry out this man’s punishment, but know this is not the end,” he continued in an ice-cold remote tone that scared me half to death. “You will still have to deal with my punishments. Now place yourself over my lap.”

He knew that making me walk towards him was far more cruel than grabbing me himself. The six feet between us was covered in the hot coals of shame — and at the end of the painful walk was no respite. I’d be giving myself over to him for a spanking that would be, I could tell by the coldness in his clear eyes, anything but an erotic slap & tickle. I had metaphorically put myself in this position and now I would literally place myself there.

“Now,” he barked, breaking me out of my fear & shame filled stupor.

Slowly I walked towards him, and gently placed my naked self over his denim-clad lap.

“There will be no safe word for this punishment; you will take all that I give & you will remain still in my lap until instructed otherwise.”

I was shocked. Blackie had never said such a thing as “no safe word” before. Perhaps the most merciful thing that could have happened then (short of retraction or modification of the statement itself) was that the spanking began.

Normally Blackie’s spankings consist of volleys broken by pauses during which I flinch in anticipation only to be met by his laughter. And he usually switches sides and placement of the blows to keep me off balance, surprised, making what I imagine to be an art work of pink and red marks with the occasional pausing now and then to enjoy my bracing flinches — and to let me savor the sting of blows. But this time…

This time, he went to town on one spot — the top most portion of my right ass cheek. He repeatedly spanked as an angry parent might, with fury & dedication to the task. Tears began to fall from my face and when I yelped, he yanked me by the hair and demanded silence. Then he continued to hit my ass hard and fast. I couldn’t count the blows. When apparently satisfied with the color, he went to the left cheek and repeated the process — again, high on my ass, near my back.

When he finally stopped, he spoke.

“I think that’s more than rosey — and placed high enough so that when you spread yourself on the floor the scratchy carpet will add some additional sting.”

I continued to lay there, across his lap, breathing hard and waiting his command to place myself on the floor. But he had a last minute addition.

He began to pinch, hard, all along the spots where he had spanked me. I did my best to remain still and silent, but it stung badly.

“Now, slide off my lap and crawl six feet away from me.”

As I did so, I could feel his hot eyes focused on his handiwork — the burning gaze adding to the sting and humiliation.

“Stop there. Now turn around, face me, and assume the position on your back.”

Trembling I followed his orders.

He was right, the rough carpet fibers felt like little toxic insect fangs against my hot stinging ass.

“Start masturbating, you disappointing slut.”

I tentatively reached my right hand between my spread legs and began stroking my clit. It was hot and hard, easy to find — but slippery as hell with my humiliation.

Blackie remained on the couch watching. The look of scorn on his face made me feel like disappearing, like dying. I must have paused because he barked a stern, “Fuck yourself, slut.”

I vigorously returned to fingering my clit.

“Pinch that clit — there, that’s it, slut. You know you like it rough, you fuck tool. So fuck yourself rough — grab and twist your nipple too while you fuck yourself.”

The combination of shame, pain and his sneering commands brought me quickly to an orgasm. I didn’t know it — that I — was coming until it was too late. Horrified I began to cry while my hips rolled side-to-side and I moaned.

“God dammit, slut, you’re such an utter failure,” he said with disgust. “Thank God your UK Dom doesn’t have to witness your failure — but I do. And he will know of it.”

He stood up and towered over me. “Go clean the toilet, bitch. And calm the fuck down.”

I scrambled to my feet and headed to the bathroom to do my task. He stood in the doorway, watching me the whole time. When I finished he ordered me to stand before him again. “We will begin again.”

Once again, I stood before him while he read — with a tone of annoyed disgust — my judgment and punishment. He had me walk to him and present my still pink ass to him over his lap. He spanked me hard again, while I cried in pain & misery at my failure.

Once again I crawled away from him, under his hot gaze, to where I would lay and masturbate again. This time with different instructions.

“Stick your fingers in that wet slit, fuck yourself hard and deep with the anger & disappointment I feel. No touching your clit or your nipples, you dirty hungry slut.”

Still weeping, I set myself to the task as ordered. I didn’t fear orgasm, but rather feared that under the circumstances I’d be unable to bring myself anywhere near an orgasm. It would be a different failure, but a failure nevertheless.

But Blackie is right, I’m a dirty hungry slut and soon I felt my breathing change from the ragged breaths of a crying ashamed woman to those of an aroused one. Blackie laughed when I removed my fingers and lay panting — just short of an orgasm.

“Two minute time out, and then you fuck yourself again, slut.”

As my breathing slowly resumed to a more normal pace, Blackie eyed the clock. My cunt was pissed off — it wanted that orgasm. I knew that two minutes probably wasn’t long enough of a wait, even if it seemed an eternity spread naked at his feet.

“Go.”

“Nervously I closed my legs and worked them like a cricket, hoping I could both bring myself close to orgasm and yet stop quickly. But that displeased Blackie.

“You were instructed to keep your legs open, bitch.”

My legs few wide open and my hand darted to my clit, making soft circles — just a few until my back began to arch and I moaned loudly, withdrawing my hand, torn between the bliss of orgasm and the duty to comply.

“Jesus, you’re a slut,” Blackie said as he looked at the clock. “That was less than a minute — maybe I need a stopwatch for such a greedy whore.”

I said nothing, just tried to get a hold on myself. My pussy was throbbing, insisting that I finish what I’d started. But before I could make much progress at slowing my raging libido, Blackie was barking another, “Go.”

“Sir…” I began, “I don’t think –”

You don’t get to think, you get to do as you’re told.”

“B-but,” I said as I placed my hand protectively over my wet hot cunt, “I don’t think I can do this last one and not come…”

Last one? The way I read it, you got two more to go — or not go, as the case may be,” he added with a wicked laugh.

“Now fuck yourself, bitch. And don’t you dare come.”

I inserted my fingers and began to slowly fuck myself — I wasn’t just going through the motions so to speak, I figured it wouldn’t take much to bring me back to that sharp, pointy edge again. But Blackie didn’t see it that way.

“I said, fuck yourself.”

His words snapped my pussy alive, it sucked hungrily at my fingers as I groaned in the frustration of having to create another wave I couldn’t ride.

I was so close…

Blackie yanked me back from the edge. “Be careful, slut, you don’t want to have to start again, do you?”

I pulled my hand away and placed it on my stomach. I was getting lost in the fuzzy grey world of confusion and frustration — it was making me tired. I just wanted to sleep and either pretend this was a dream or make it all go away… But my Masters, for indeed I now served two, would had none of that.

“One minute ’til you begin again. And this time, you’re going to use this,” he tossed an angled vibe onto my chest, “you’ll rub that G until you’re about to squirt. I can’t tell what you’re moaning about anymore, but I can’t mistake your gushing cunt.”

Dazed I reached for the toy just as he announced it was time to begin again.

The toy buzzed in my hand — it sounded like the hive of angry bees that were stinging my spanked ass via the carpet. I inserted it and almost instantly I was near the top of the wave again –

Fuck, look at that!” he spat mockingly at me, “Just stick yourself once and you’re ready to blow! You’d better pull that out before you fail — again.”

I pulled the vibe out and braced myself, fearing any movement could set me over the edge…

“Suck the toy clean, slut, and get in the shower.”

I sucked it clean & then clumsily got to my feet. I followed Blackie to the bathroom and stepped inside the shower stall. He drew the curtain closed and turned on the water — ice cold needles hit my skin. The fog was lifted, the exhaustion passed and all I felt was the hard cold spray of water. And the hot smoldering hunger of my cunt.

“Dry off, you’ve got more work to do.”

I did as told and stood before a seated Blackie on the couch.

“Part of your punishment from me — for there will be multiple parts as you’ve failed in multiple areas — is that after the family dinner tonight, you will take phone calls for six hours.”

My refreshed head did the math — by the time returned from the family dinner, I would need to remain awake until 6 AM, servicing whoever might call.

“While waiting for calls, you will complete the following tasks,” he continued, handing me a piece of paper.

I scanned the paper quickly as Blackie got up off the couch and headed to the bedroom to get dressed for the family dinner.

Over his shoulder, he casually said, “Oh, and while you’re on the phone tonight, do remember that you’re to have no orgasms for the next 48 hours.”

There were four tasks on the paper — all of which made me flush with shame.

But I had to get dressed for dinner too, so all that would have to wait.

===

When back from the dinner, Blackie told me to take a shower & then head to the phone for calls. He gave me a kiss on the cheek & headed to bed.

While in the shower, I heard the door. My body tightened, wondering what he wanted… But then the door shut again. Maybe he just wanted to grab something he’d left in here.

When I got out to dry myself off there was a black full-slip — with a short note on it:

Wear this while you work — nothing else. A submissive slut should be easily accessible, but also allow strange new Doms the chance to order you to strip before them.

While waiting for calls from strange men to use you, first complete your punishment instructions from the UK Dom by writing up what happened today. Admit your first failed attempt. Then, should no one want to use you, dirty whore, proceed with my list of tasks.

Remember, no orgasms, slut; you’re still on punishment.

Blackie

PS Do Not Fail

I slipped into the nylon slip and padded to the office. Sitting in the office chair was like sitting had been through dinner — uncomfortable being perched on an ass still tender from the spanking all these hours later. I turned on the phone line and while waiting for a call — nervously hopeful — I turned to the task of messaging the UK Dom to let him know that I had been punished per his wishes and was in the process of writing this humiliating post about it.

While writing, the phone rang. I did as the caller instructed, including twisting, pinching & sucking my own nipples — and asking for him to fuck me hard and rough. I believe I pleased him too. Both the being used and pleasing him (and Blackie by proxy) made my still-wanting-pussy throb… But I managed to control myself.

So far, so good.

Back to writing.

Until another call came in.

This caller made me do even more things to myself — including clamping my nipples and clit. It was all I could do to carry out his orders and not come — I’d already been so close so many times that day and my body was demanding relief. I just kept telling myself that I would not fail.

I. Would. Not. Fail.

But then he ordered me to orgasm.

Now I was stuck.

I whispered that my Master had forbade it (I couldn’t manage to get the whole story out, but it was the truth anyway you cut it), but the caller responded with a cold, “I thought you were supposed to follow my commands?”

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

I figured the only thing I could do, the only appropriate response, was to meet this caller’s demands — even if it meant failing Blackie and the UK Dom. (Either way, Blackie was going to be pissed; I wasn’t going to be able to get out of that in any case.)

So I came, hard and fast. Twice.

And this caller wasn’t done yet.

He had me get a cup of ice cubes & insert them one by one in my hot throbbing cunt — I came again before the caller hung up. My cunt was happy, but I was left knowing that I’d be in trouble with two other Masters — and I had a mess from the melting ice cubes to clean up too.

After the clean-up, I emailed Blackie to tell him of the situation and then began to finish this (now much longer) post before the clock informed me that I could go to bed.

===

I was wakened this afternoon by Blackie grabbing my hair and coldly asking me to tell me what happened.

Groggy, I asked him if he read the email, to which he replied, “I read only that you failed. You will stand before me and explain the details.”

While I struggled to stand before him, he continued. “You didn’t think you could avoid your shame and not stand before me and admit your failure, did you?”

As I struggled with shame to recount the events of the night before, Blackie grabbed me by my pubic hair and stared into my eyes. I gasped and whimpered my failings & apologies. I should have stopped there.

But I added on a miserable accusation of, “You didn’t tell me what to do in this situation.”

He released his handful of hairs, the sensitive skin beneath slowly stopped stinging and released into a warm flush, and he stood up.

“You should have foreseen such problems; I did, but when you didn’t ask for orders… We have a very big problem here, don’t we…”

And he walked out of the room.

From the doorway he snapped that I had to complete this post, send a link to the UK Dom and wait for his comment. When done with that, I was to return to the bedroom and await his return — and his punishment.

And so I wait.

For two angry Doms to get back to me.

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Friday, May 1st, 2009

The Answer Is Denial — What Was The Question Again?

Denial has become the answer to so many of our relationship problems with BDSM that it’s hard to list them all.

Denying me, the pain slut, the punishing pleasure I seek is one way that Blackie keeps the upper hand — emotionally, physically & sexually — giving him all the power to decide what, when and where. Surrendering to Blackie’s whims & desires has me living in a state of near perpetual anticipatory lust — but that too is handled with denial.

For example, one of our regular activities is to watch The Girls Next Door. But the rules are quite specific. Before the show begins, I’m to make the following preparations:

* Get topless
* Set up a TV tray next to Blackie’s favorite spot on the couch
* On the tray, I place a glass of his favorite beverage, a bottle of lube & two towels

(Just writing this is making my cunt ache with nearly programed desire.)

When Blackie sits on the sofa, I’m to sit at his feet, facing him, watching him as he watches the show so that when he wordlessly unzips his jeans, I can get on my knees and give him head.

Sometimes he doesn’t unzip, but just absentmindedly plays with my tits… gently rubbing the nipples, occasionally pinching them hard… making me squirm with hopeful desire…

Maybe he will unzip, allow me to suck his cock while he looks at the blonds from Playboy, filling my mouth with his hot load but leaving me with my unsatisfied, wanting cunt.

Maybe he will grab my tits and tell me he wants to fuck them. I’ll lube his cock with my hand, slowly & lovingly, until he tells me to stop. Then he’ll smash them around his hard cock and massage my big breasts roughly to his own orgasm.

Sometimes, he just cruelly pinch-holds the nipples and has me press my breasts around his cock while he thrusts away until he sprays his hot happiness on my tits — while my pussy throbs with wishes that it had the friction, thrusting and spray.

And when he’s done, I just have to sit there at his feet.

I’m emotionally happy that I’ve served him — but physically I’m left aching and wanting. I’ve not just been denied orgasm, but any attention or pleasure I’ve received was the accidental byproduct of his own pleasure.

On rare occasions though, I am fucked during the show.

If he’s in the mood, he’ll yank me by the hair away from sucking his hard cock or take his hard cock away from my breasts and bark a position for me to take. Usually when this occurs, I’m so hot, wet and horny that my orgasm is nearly instant.

For this I am mocked & humiliated.

I’m a dirty eager slut.
I’m a wet whore.
I’m nothing but a cum-bucket.
I exist solely to be his fuck object — and everyone knows it.

And quite often, because he knows how easy I am, before he mounts me he’ll tell me I am not allowed to come until (meaning “if and when”) he tells me otherwise.

Denying me orgasm is his order, but I cannot always manage to hold it back.

It’s my shame.

I’ve tried to explain that it’s because he turns me on so, that I love him so much, that it’s not my fault that his big hard cock brings me to orgasm so easily (and multiple times). But Blackie won’t accept that. He’s given me an order and I have failed to carry it out.

It’s my shame that I’m such a lusty hole that I’m unable to follow his orders.

And for displeasing him I’ll be punished. Not with spankings, tit whippings or even a clamp on my clit; I’m punished with denial. And not just the denial of beautiful searing pain which sends my pussy into a frenzy either.

The next time The Girls Next Door is on (or another time of Blackie’s choice), I know that because I’ve failed him I won’t deserve to be penetrated. I’ll be back in that position at his feet, only allowed to service him and swallow his seed or wear it on my chest, and not have my pussy fed.

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