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Tag: humiliation

Monday, July 26th, 2010

Protected: Just A Hole: Face Fucking

The degradation of having my face fucked can be pretty extreme, especially when you’re being called a whore, a cunt, a bitch…


Rough deepthroat action brought to you by PornHub

This past weekend, Blackie & Marc enjoyed fucking my face — and because I’m on a No Orgasm Order (until tonight?), they made the most of the situation. Not only did they take turns exploiting the hole in my face, but they humiliated me for my wet, aching and needy cunt.

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Thursday, May 27th, 2010

Anal Play: I Just Don’t Like It

This photo by Vlad Gansovsky captures my discomfort with any sort of anal attentions.

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Thursday, May 20th, 2010

In My Inbox (And That’s Not A Sexual Reference – This Time)

I received the following email from a new Master Member. Her name is Jodi, and here’s what she had to say:

Dear Pinkie,

I wanted to thank you for your blog and for allowing me to join as a Member Master. In my heart, I feel like a fellow “lipstick submissive”… But my lifestyle is very different from yours.

I have no Master — other than that in my erotic dreams. Which is not to say that I’m not happily married — I am! But he’s just so not into this sort of a thing. Asking him to spank me or call me a bitch would probably make him sick, or cry… And, if I’m being completely honest, I might too. I’ve never tried this stuff, but it sure makes me hot.

At night, when the kids are in bed, I like to read at your blog and masturbate, pretending it’s all happening to me. Sometimes, I’ll just get so excited & horny that I’ll playfully pounce on my hubby who has no idea what hit him — but he likes it! ;)

It’s the best of both worlds, really; I get my erotic fix — and my secret sinful lust makes me feel humiliated for days… like those red welts and aches which remind you, I get hot just thinking about what I’ve done.

So thanks again for walking me through the whole joining at NiteFlirt thing and convincing me I wouldn’t be pestered there as a female user. Getting to see all the Bound Posts has me so shamefully pleased that I can barely express it — without a vibrator anyway lol

I probably won’t be calling or otherwise “using you” like other Member Masters, but I sure am happy to pay Blackie for the pleasure of reading about your use by others. (And who knows, maybe I’m a switch? lol)

Thanks – err, spanks again,
Jodi

You’re welcome, Jodi!

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Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

For The Lusty Librarian…

For, Klaudia, my shoe-loving, lusty librarian friend — who moonlights as a bookseller and a phone sex operator, this public gang bang and humiliation fantasy to enjoy *wink* Will she love it? Or won’t there be enough to feed her shoe fetish?

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Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

The Beauty Troubles Of A Sexual Lipstick Submissive

Marc often complains that I’m “a high maintenance little bitch” — usually when Blackie buys me something pretty and girlie. Which could be a whole other conversation just because the relationship I have with Blackie is completely different than the one I have with Marc; but still, Marc has a point…

When Blackie pampers me, his motivation isn’t just because I’m his loving wife; it’s because that’s the kind of submissive sex slave he wants.

He prefers to have me made-up, feminine, and lovely — and not only because that’s the kind of girlie girl he fell in love with and married either. He not enjoys my girlie lingerie, stockings, shoes etc. for a simple aesthetic, but for their fetish value. So Blackie insists upon such frilly accoutrement, in my status as what I call a “lipstick submissive.”

Perhaps this is also because he is in his late 40s, and, therefore, his recollections of porn and fetish materials have to do with the classic trappings of femininity…

Marc, on the other hand, enjoys debasing my beauty. He prefers me to present myself completely nude. The thrill he feels when he can destroy my made-up face with tears and drool is palpable. Which means that after Marc uses me, I must shower, dress, and apply makeup before I can present myself to Blackie again — even if it’s just to drive home and go to sleep at 6 AM.

(Do not mistake any of this for any less use of me, or kinder use of me, by Blackie; we are simply talking about appearances here.)

It may be just because Marc enjoys “taking the bitch down a few notches” — something I won’t deny, as I have too much proof of it! — but I also feel there’s something else which motivates his desires to have me nude, streaked in makeup, dirty, and animalistic…

Marc, being close to my age (we are both in our 20s), has gown up with a different image or standard. For simplicity sake, I call it more “graphic” and extreme. Marc says it’s simply more realistic.

I think it’s different ideals of beauty and sexual attractiveness based on the age difference of their masturbation materials.

My only real proof that this difference in fantasy images is based on the decades of difference in their sexual materials history is that of pubic hair.

Blackie, who grew up seeing plenty of bush, prefers my pussy in its more natural state. Trimmed, of course; but he likes a dark bush he can see — and tug or otherwise use to torture me. Marc, on the other hand, wants me as bald as a baby — and that, in fact, is a real problem around here.

Blackie finds a completely hair-free pubis to be too much like that of an immature human child — and as such, a complete turn-off.

Marc finds the hair equally unappealing — except for the fact that I too am a product of this age of non-hairiness, so I would prefer to be waxed smooth (or with a tiny strip or something), and so Marc humiliates me for my “gross hairiness.”

Of course I really have nothing to say about it. So when Marc shaves me, or, his favorite, punishes me with a cruel waxing to remove my pubic hair, Blackie wants nothing to do with my cunt.

Currently, I believe this only adds to Marc’s delight; he knows how a lack of being fucked — especially by Blackie — hurts & frustrates me.

Like I said, I have no control over this situation. I suffer the consequences of this battle over the hairless smoothness vs. the natural hairiness of my pussy. And one way or another I am yanked about by the proverbial short-hairs. But I really wish they could come to a consensus about my appearance.

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Sunday, May 16th, 2010

Protected: Marc Breaks Me In

I haven’t written much about my being given to Marc. But I can no longer hide; I’ve been ordered to confess…

I want, always, to please Blackie; so naturally I knew I’d submit to Marc because Blackie had ordered it.

At least I’d not physically resist. But I also secretly (or so I thought) had a weapon: my spirit.

I’d let Marc do whatever he wanted to me, yet I’d retreat… If not to sub space, than to that place of lofty scorn where nothing can touch you.

Yeah, Marc could use me all he wanted. But I wouldn’t react. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of my tears; I’d master my pain. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of my moans; I’d let my disdain distance me. Whatever he might elicit from me would merely be reflexive and boring.  Like a bully with a stoic victim, he’d tire of me and leave me be.

But I should have known better; I have no secrets from Blackie.

And he made sure I’d have no refuge.

Marc’s introduction to me was more than a bit of play, a test, or even an assault; it was indoctrination.

The morning that Marc arrived back at the house, I had been presented as gift, bound nude on the sofa awaiting him.  My arms were cuffed behind me, my legs bent at the knee and spread so that my pussy was fully exposed.

Marc strolled in, cocky and assured. I assumed the same stance in my mind; in spirit I was defiantly replaying how I’d rebuffed his advances when we first met. I didn’t dare roll my eyes for fear Blackie would see, but I held onto that image.

Marc stood over me, he pawed at my tits and told Blackie he was looking forward to getting to those later. Then he held out his hand, palm up like a doctor waiting to receive a scalpel from a nurse. Blackie slapped the Hitachi Magic Wand into Marc’s waiting hand. The switch was turned on and just like that Marc placed it onto my clit.

I hadn’t been prepared for such an attack! I tried to fight it mentally. I did everything I could to withstand it, using every trick I knew to deny an orgasm. But then Blackie’s breath was at my ear. “How’s it feel to have him take it, darling?” he whispered.  “How’s it feel to have this man you hate in charge of your body, of your most sacred offering?”

His taunts meant two things: one, my cover was blown and two, it was being used against me to violate my resistance.

I was panting and squirming trying to fight it off, but with my hiding place no longer a place to hide it was no use. As the first waves of orgasm hit me, I began to cry in frustration and humiliation.

Marc had won.

“I would say, ‘Take that, bitch,’ but it’s I who takes,” Marc gloated.

Orgasms are about as personal as it gets. Having them forced, taken from you, despite your will is the ultimate bodily betrayal. You blame yourself for not having the mental and emotional strength to prevent it, leaving you crushed, beaten — Mastered.

Forcing that orgasm was more than a confidence booster for an already cocky man, but a way to rip away any pretenses I had about who was in control. There was no place for me to hide. Any attempts would merely be exploited.

They could have left it there, but that would have been too easy, at least in their opinions.

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Saturday, May 15th, 2010

Member Master Confessions: Exploiting Resentment, Forcing Service, & Denied Orgasms

Member Master D.D. Tom has ordered this confession, in case others would like to learn a thing or two to exploit.

D.D. Tom likes to play with my tolerance levels. He likes to provide detailed descriptions of how I shall spend my days — and nights. He’ll control and limit my sleep; decide what, when, and if I’ll eat; make to-do lists of chores and corporal punishments — and masturbation sessions.

But D.D. Tom refuses to allow me to orgasm.

He likes me frustrated, tired, and more than a bit angry. He doesn’t mind my anger any more than he minds my exhaustion — in fact, he loves both. Does his best to bring it out in me.

He wants me to hate serving him, hate my helpless position doing what he says because I am bound to Blackie’s terms of service.

He combines the control of basic necessities with forms of mind control — trying to make me adopt ideas and ideals intolerable to me.  It’s difficult to explain… Here are some examples:

  • Masturbation sessions to Rush Limbaugh and Fox news, so that I learn to associate them with pleasure (or connect my helplessness to conservative power?)
  • Masturbation sessions interrupted by “domestic” tasks to perform, to accept that my pleasure is not only secondary to his (or any man’s) but entirely meaningless
  • Repetitive writing exercises in which I must copy “A woman’s place is wherever a man says it is,” or “I am a woman; I can’t do the things a man can,” or “I am a sex object and servant only, not an equal – anywhere,” or “Dirty girls with dirty thoughts have not been busy enough; idle hands mean her man isn’t satisfied,” 100 times — by hand. Like Bart Simpson at the chalkboard, only neatly on paper.

He manages me mainly through NF messages, emails, and Twitter posts — the timestamps of my confessions (my descriptive messages, photos of hand-washing my panties and the bruises on the insides of my thighs, scans of my handwriting copying over & over & over again what he wishes me to believe) are proof of my compliance — so that even while he sleeps, he does so satisfied that I am doing as he wishes.

(He also likes to message Blackie and Marc detailed descriptions of his opinions, and this, along with my commanded confessions, is how he finds out how to push my buttons.)

All of what he orchestrates via messages builds to a rather short phone call, during which he quickly orders performances to exploit the aches, pains, and frustrations he’s created during the day.

He knows to use physical pain to tamper with my temper, using violence to force past my anger and resentment, shoving me into a sexual ache. Oh how I ache for that orgasmic release from him — even as I hate myself for doing what he says.

Satisfied he’s got me hungry past reason, he then supervises my masturbation.

He listens to the noises I make, manipulates me by his will, if not his actual hand, and makes me beg and cry for what I desire. I beg quickly and far too easily for an orgasm. I hate it. Am humiliated by it. And he knows it. When I’m too close, he’ll order me still and silent while he speaks…

He’ll speak softly, but with an icy steel command that forces me to listen while he calls me names; tells me how it pleases him to make me, a slutty bitch who doesn’t know her real place in life, do what he says; tells me that he enjoys knowing he can make me hate him, yet reduce me to tears and begging for a release I know I won’t get…

I listen in humiliated anger and shame while he masturbates to his own blessed event.

He makes sure I know he comes. His sighs of pleasure echoed by my whimpers of desire, tiny sobs I try to hold back out of pride, and despair.

Then, in a voice that sounds like a condescending pat on the head, he tells me to go to bed “like a good girl, now — no touching, no sin, just sleep.” That’s if I’m lucky. Usually he gives me some other service to perform, to make sure my hands aren’t idle and so have no time to stray…

In any case, just before he hangs up, he laughs — at me, enjoying the knowledge that he leaves me to my aching misery.

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Thursday, March 25th, 2010

Protected: Fucking Bitch

Using and abusing a submissive woman isn’t about hating women, but, as Marc says, sometimes it helps.  That’s a joke, people.

Well, not entirely.

Sometimes a person can be so rude, that fantasies are born. I’m not condoning anger as a motivation for actual abuse or rape, but fantasies are what they are.

In my business — the real stuff with my company, not the blog confessions and whoring on the phone I’m required to do to please my Masters — there are some uptight, stuck-up bitchy women who motivate men to fantasies of fucking the shit of them to put the women in their place.

Of course, if you add in the perceptions that many men have about women there are lots more men who feel this way.

There is a certain misogyny involved in men who just can’t (or won’t) tolerate a female boss, women with more money, females who wield more power in the spheres individual men would like to control; but there are also honest to goodness real bitches who, monied or not themselves, act like gold diggers and reject men for not being well-endowed enough in terms of wealth — men’s wallets must be this thick/high to get on this ride.

In my work, I run into so many of these women — especially at events. It’s amazing the number of women who are mindful of their manners at their day jobs realizing that anyone could be a client or customer — or refer one — but the minute these women attend a golf outing, a cocktail party after convention hours, a fund raising event, etc., they become the personification of snobby bitch.

I don’t think human decency should take any time off — and I’m not just saying that as a submissive, either. But some of these women are just plain bitches and their fit-to-be-tied tirades inspire the Dom in any man.

To illustrate such an example, I’m confessing events which occurred at an event just last fall.

A typical blond bitch at our table was making horrible denigrating comments about the service staff at the hotel.  The waiter who had the misfortune of serving our table was doing his best to bite his tongue and keep a professional attitude during all of this, despite her eyeball rolls and nasty attitude.  At one point, though, he was, in the blonde’s opinion, very slow in retrieving her requested drink — and of bringing the wrong drink.  She had indeed ordered the white wine spritzer he had brought, but she insisted she’d ordered a carafe of white wine. And boy did she have a bitch fit.

She shoved her chair back and said way-too loudly how stupid and slow the staff was, that they must all be tired from swimming to this country. Then she turned to the waiter, arched her eyebrows, and — honest to god — she threatened him with being fired and deportation if he didn’t bring her the carafe of whine within two minutes.  And she raised her watch to let him know she was timing him.

He obviously had to be struggling to remain professional, but he smiled and turned on his heel to go to the bar.  Everyone at the table was stunned — except for the blonde who babbled on and on about how he’d better fetch quickly.  For professional reasons, I wasn’t able to do anything more than give the blonde  more than a disapproving glance and avoid conversation with her by speaking to others at hour table.

When the waiter returned (in the required time), she accepted the carafe and then waved him away like an annoying fly.  Amazingly the waiter kept his composure and asked the table if anyone needed anything else.

I gave what I’d hoped was a sympathetic and apologetic smile to the mistreated waiter and said, “No, thank you.”  No one else made any other requests, and the waiter left.

Blackie felt so horrible, that he left the table and went to talk to the waiter.  I assumed he’d give him a big tip too.  But what I didn’t know was that Blackie’s tip included more than some cash.

Later on, back in our hotel room, Blackie and I talked about the bitchy blonde. I asked him how it went when he went to tip the waiter.

It seems the waiter, full of righteous anger and pride over his shabby treatment, had not taken my smile as I had intended; he read it full of condescension. As soon as Blackie discovered this, he made no attempts to correct it but instead egged the man on.

“Why would you do that?!” I asked, horrified.

“Because if he thinks you’re a bitch too, we can help make it up to him.”

The sinking sensation in my gut held me silent while I waited for Blackie to explain.

“What better way to get back at a stuck-up bitch than to fuck the shit out of her.” He said it as a statement, not a question, and as he walked towards me the sinking sensation in my stomach grew.

Blackie stood before me and reached out to tenderly tuck a stray strand of my hair behind my ear before making announcement. “So, what we’re going to do, my love, is let he and his friends have their way with you.”

My eyes and mouth rounded in surprise. Friends? Plural? Strangers? Use me? But I was too shocked to actually form any words.

“In a few minutes, my dear, I’ll be escorting you to the favorite watering hole of our poor beleaguered waiter, where you will serve him and a few of his friends who have suffered similarly. A public service to help men get back at all those bitches. And, yes, before you ask, you will be serving more than beers to assuage their mocked manhood. If I were you, I’d expect a general invasion of your privacy.”

And that’s how I found myself serving seven members of the hotel staff later that night.  The full details of this are for Member Masters only.

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Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

Being His Sex Doll

I found the following photos via a post at Klaudia’s shoe blog (she’s a NiteFlirt friend who also runs The Pump & Grind — such a clever clever name for a shoe fetish newsletter!).

beatrice-morabito-sadist-submissive

beatrice-morabito-bound-gas-mask

The artist behind these photos, Beatrice Morabito, writes the following about her work:

A doll can not move by herself, cannot smile, cry, change the position of her body, the expression of the face and so on.

It is you doing all these things in her place, so she can be a simply object in your hands…

It is exactly this which resonates with me — not only when I look at the photos, but how I feel as a submissive.

beatrice-morabito-his-sex-doll

Especially with Marc.

Marc often denigrates Blackie’s relationship with me, calling me a pampered pet; he thinks Blackie is too kind or soft with me.

beatrice-morabito-pet-dog-leash

(I feel that’s not true, especially as Blackie gives me to Marc, a man I loathe; but that’s for another time, another post, I suppose.)

gift-of-flesh-beatrice-morabito

Marc’s philosophy in slave management is obviously different as his feelings towards me are so vastly different. He views me as a plaything. And in fact, often refers to me as “His doll.”

dont-you-speak-beatrice-morabito

His game theory, if you will, with this doll includes the positioning of me as he wishes and leaving me sit on display.

Sometimes it’s just for his viewing pleasure.

frame-display-tits-beatrice-morabito

Sometimes it’s for my discomfort.

say-my-name-doll-photo-by-beatrice-morabito

Other times, it’s for others to see. Even out in public.

beatrice-morabito-play-thing-posed-doll

Whatever his reason, it’s always humiliating and exhausting.

Especially so when there’s no orgasm for me.  But I’m not to complain; I’m a toy to be used and my pleasure is irrelevant.

hands-all-over-beatrice-morabito

Marc most often ignores ropes and other bondage tools (for absolute restraint of me, anyway), and prefers to position me and remind me that as a doll I cannot move. Even when he uses me.

My restraint is his will. I do not move until he wishes it.

If I fail, if a limb flails in anyway other than due to the impact of inflicted impact or thrusts, he may will punish me.

And sometimes when he is done playing with me he will abandon me like a child, walking away and leaving me laying on the floor.

oyster-dreams-stockholm-syndrome-by-beatrice-morabito

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Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

This Is A Fear Of Mine

Marc likes to play with my asshole.

He knows that my entire sexual life had been based on the “exit only” philosophy, and that Blackie’s never had any interest in backdoor action.

Marc knows that my “exit only” philosophy is primarily based on painful trial and bleeding-rectum error — yes, lube and slow training was used, I’ve just got a tiny tight asshole.

Not only do I not like to bled and suffer anal discomfort for weeks, but I’ve got a girlie sense of vanity which makes me live in fear of my asshole looking like this gaping awaiting hole someone could fall into:

anal_spreading_giant_gaping-asshole

(Image via Explicite-Art.)

Knowing all of this, Marc likes to torment me by playing with my ass.

He likes to slowly take his time, over days and nights, to gently pry it open painful bit by painful bit. Then leave it alone for weeks, so that it’s nice and tight and normal feeling before he begins all over again.

And to keep me fearful when my ass is not full, he likes to show me what he’ll one day do to me. Like sending me images and videos which freak me out and make me cringe. Images and videos like these from Latex Angel:

double-penetration-fisting-anal-and-pussy-fisting

(Click the pic to watch the video if you want to be impressed/horrified.)

Words do not express how frightening this particular video of double fisting — one in the cunt, the other fist in the ass — is.

Tonight, while waiting for phone calls, Marc made me watch it — while I bent my bare bottom over my computer desk chair, proffering him access. The first time, I just held my breath, holding myself as till as he was.

The second time, Marc trailed his fingertip slowly along my anal cleft in a most menacing fashion.

The third time he spread my ass cheeks wide open, fingered around my ass hole and told me how one day he’d do that to me. As I trembled beneath his touch, he swept his fingers along my slit and found his wet reward — my pussy dripping with fear, not lust. He laughed and left me to my phone calls.

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