This left me speechless initially. But I had to watch this, over and over again, while on the phone with Member Master Damon and confess my terror, shame and humiliation in great detail. The short story? The only thing worse than having to submit to this would be to have it filmed and shared.
Tag: humiliation
Terrifying
Tags: anal, humiliation, pain not pleasure, tools and toys, torture
My Name Is Holes
A report on my task for Master Member Damon.
First I had to watch this video:
Then I had to begin my repetitive writing task. I had to write “my name is holes. i’m just meat Damon uses to entertain himself.” by hand. Over and over again, three pages full — while replaying the video over and over again. Her screams were both unnerving and quite distracting.
I had to turn send it to him on time — I think I just made it. Then post my task here, sharing the last page.
Now I await his appraisal of how I did…
Tags: anal, bound, humiliation, lessons for bitches, power play, repetitive writing, serving, tied up
Me Cow? HuCow?
Researching my position as possible livestock for The Farmer leads me to the discovery of Human Cows or HuCows.
While it gives me bit of an idea about what to expect and how to behave, it seems much kinder than what The Farmer describes…
Of course, when I see what’s happened to Cassandra Calogera’s nipples after her big 36FFs were abused by “The Goat Milker,” I’m even less thrilled by what The Farmer has already said about being his livestock.
The Goat Milker is real goat milker with 1/16 horsepower providing 30in Mercury in max suction — modified for pulsating, sensual, nipple stimulation. From the looks of it, I’m not sure “sensual” is the right word.
I wonder if The Farmer has a milking machine like that?
Also, The Farmer said he would force me to lactate… Is that even possible without being pregnant? More research I guess…
Tags: big breasts, goat milker, hucow, humiliation, livestock, nipples, rough tit play, tools and toys
Oh No, Not Squating In The Snow
The Farmer sent this to me saying, “Fancy a walk in the snow to go take a pee?”
Photograph by Yendor09.
Tags: bound, humiliation, lessons for bitches, livestock, power play, submissive pets
Confessing Things I’m Afraid Of Continues…
Following Blackie’s order that I confess five things I am afraid of, today’s confession is about that farmer fellow…
Here are parts of email exchanges from him which I think rather nicely encapsulates the severity of what he’s talking about:
Many have pets, puppies and kittens they allow to be companion animals; I’m looking for a particular piece of livestock.
As an a piece of livestock in our community, we’ll control when, where, how and what you sleep, eliminate bodily waste, menstruate, produce milk, bathe, cry, laugh, come.
…We’ll decide when and what you eat — and you will be producing some of your own food, cow.
This isn’t some cuddly pet ownership; livestock is expected to perform duties.
…Like many human – animal relationships, part of your worth is how much you entertain us. You won’t be fetching tennis balls, or sitting at feet purring and awaiting use; no, as livestock you’ll be judged in public shows and competitions — along with providing private entertainment.
Where to begin?
Marc has often complained that Blackie treats me too much like a pampered pet, so I know he finds this sort of thing more to his liking… But can even he imagine or go far as to control when I “eliminate bodily waste, menstruate, produce milk,” etc.?
That’s as base as it gets.
I can’t even wrap my mind about how all this is done…
For that reason, Blackie has ordered me to do some research, to ask the farmer himself what he has in mind… Obviously the latter has me terrified.
But perhaps what’s most on my mind is why Blackie is even entertaining such talks… Is this something he really wants me to do? Or is this just some investigative work into my fears, my mind…
Tags: BDSM relationships, humiliation, livestock, power play, serving, submissive pets
Spanking Confessions
From a call with a first time phone Master — shared not only with his permission, but at his request.
“Where do you hate to be spanked or hit, love? — Be honest, now,” he commands.
(I love that he calls me love… It’s warm, and cozy, and sweet — and you only hurt the ones you love, right?)
“You mean where on my body?”
“No, not body parts, love; where. Do you like it less to be standing, your arms tied over your head, kneeling over a footstool, or where?”
“Honestly?”
“Honestly,” he says, that note in his voice warns me just how near a growl he is…
“I dislike it most when I must present myself, place myself, over a man’s knee,” I say, the heat of blushing full in my cheeks.
“Why?”
“B-because it’s personal — too personal.”
“Standing naked and being whipped isn’t personal?”
“Not as much so… At least not usually.”
“Isn’t feeling like any old piece of meat humiliating?”
“Yes… But in most cases, I can more easily disconnect myself from the physical pain because I am just any old piece of meat to be used like that.”
“But over a man’s knee…?”
“Over a man’s knee I cannot hide.”
“It’s more intimate,” he states.
“Too intimate,” I agree.
“He can see your wet slit between those reddening mounds of flesh, hmm?”
*silence*
“Answer!”
“Yes!” I blurt, frightened into a response.
“And you will be wet, won’t you.”
“Yes,” I confess, hearing myself sounding miserable.
“Why do you get so wet, love.” He didn’t ask; he knows why. He’s commanding me to confess — and he’ll know if I lie.
“Because it hurts — not just physically, but it hurts to be so, so — so insignificant, like a child. I must just take it.”
“Do you cry, love?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Tears of…?”
“Pain, humiliation, fear, frustration… embarrassment…”
“And do you cry when you are whipped standing nude on display?”
“Yes…”
A pause. Then he says, “‘Yes’ what?”
“When I’m standing like that, or bent over a stool or whatever, you can’t see it — can’t see that I’m crying.”
“But?”
I sigh before I plunge in and confess completely. “When I’m over your knee, you may not see that I’m crying, but you’ll hear it — you’ll feel my breathing. …And you’ll feel my tears on your legs…”
“So slippery it must be… Your crying eyes, your weeping cunt…”
“Yes,” I say, humiliated at his knowing.
“And are you wet now, love?”
I can barely breath the answer… “Yes…”
“Where? Are little tears in your eyes?”
“Yes,” I sigh.
“So hard to confess, little one, yes?”
I nod the answer — then remember he can’t see this on the phone and blurt out an anguished “Yes!”
“And your slit? Is it wet?”
“Yes, I admit it,” I wail — my cheeks burning again.
“Well, now, let’s not waste that. Get the paddle, then spread your legs…”
Tags: humiliation, paddling, pain as pleasure, pain not pleasure, power play, spanking
A Confession A Day (Number Two)
Continuing to obey the command that I confess five things I’m afraid of…
Today’s confession is regarding a physical fear. Ever since Marc — with a gleam in his eye — showed me this photo from Sex and Submission, I’ve been worried that I’ll have to carry out his fantasy.
I don’t want that hook in my ass. I know it’s not so pointy as to pierce or cut… (It isn’t right?) But it looks like something you’d find a dead cow on in a butcher’s shop or slaughterhouse. *shiver*
What a message that you are just meat.
And to have it tied to your hair, Marc using it as leverage or to steady himself — or just for his thrills, while fucking me… It’s too much, really.
Tags: anal, bound, hair pulling, humiliation, lessons for bitches, pain not pleasure, serving, tied up, tools and toys, torture
Supervised Masturbation (Part Two)
As I’ve stated, supervised masturbation is difficult for me. Apparently I have performance anxiety.
This is one reason why when we travel together, Blackie will bring in a total stranger and order me to masturbate in front of them.
Sometimes Blackie will stand behind the seated man, who’s often masturbating while watching me. Other times, Blackie will stand behind me so that I cannot even find him with my eyes and find some respite there; a few times Blackie’s even left the room entirely.
But the worst is when Blackie brings in one of his business associates to supervise my masturbation — because then I know someday I’ll likely meet him again, and that man’s knowing, leering, smug smile will torment me.
Animated gif of Ultra Violett masturbating by Fuckmaker; found via S & M = Smoke & Mirrors.
Protected: Tits Up & Other Commands
Marc has trained me, like a dog, to follow his commands; these are a few of them.
Tags: humiliation, serving
Frosted Face, The Breakfast Of Champions
Every morning I’m with Marc, he likes to start off his day by frosting my face — after I’ve already done my makeup, so I have to start all over again.
Tags: cock sucking, humiliation, lessons for bitches, power play, serving

















