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Tag: humiliation

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Birthday Wishes, Part Two

After being struck by the news that my birthday gift was to be put into some service for Marc I was understandably shocked; gagged-speechless, unable to move, there was nothing I could say or do but try to absorb the information as it came in.

Millions of concerns and questions circled in my mind… My intense dislike of Marc, though, paled in contrast to worry about the potential relationship consequences of being used by another man — did Blackie really know what he was doing to us?

As Blackie and Marc joked about how Marc would have to get himself a drink from the bar because I was “tied up at the moment,” I swallowed hard and tried to clear my head so that I could pay attention to whatever information I might learn. By the time Marc returned with his glass I thought I had composed myself; but when he sat on sofa, on the side opposite Blackie, resting his left thigh against my naked body, I jumped. At least on the inside.

Both men sat there, discussing whatever was on TV (I was completely oblivious to it by this time), as if this was just the same-old-same-old, while I tried to calm myself down. Fear was tightening in my throat. I could feel moisture growing under my arms. I tried to concentrate on slowing & controlling my breathing.

Blackie, who knows me so well, likely was aware of my efforts; so it was probably no coincidence that once I had more control of myself that the men began to talk about me — and talk about me as if I wasn’t there, or as if I were some object, not a sentient being.

“So, tomorrow morning, 8 A.M.?” Blackie casually confirmed.

“Yup, right after I do those few things on your list,” Marc replied before taking a swig from his glass, the ice tinkling as if laughing at me too.

“Because you know, we should celebrate the whole day, even if Pinkie isn’t really a morning person…” Blackie began then smugly chortled, “Not that I imagine she will sleep well at all tonight.”

“Eager little beaver, hmm?” Marc mocked.

“Oh, I imagine the anticipation will keep her as up tonight as her nipples are right now,” Blackie laughed, punctuating his point by tweaking my left nipple.

“Lovely, just lovely…” Marc said. “May I?”

“Of course!” was Blackie’s gracious reply.

And with that, Marc took a firm grip of my right nipple, slowly rolling it between his thumb and forefinger.

“Now, that Marc, is not a flush of arousal; it’s a flush of anger,” Blackie pointed out, “A most delicious thing to see…”

“I suppose it is when you know you can wipe that smug refusal away anytime you wish,” Marc said, changing his grasp of my captured nipple from a firm rolling motion to a tight press that continued to hold as Blackie spoke.

“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll soon be doing what you want, when you want, no matter what her face says — in fact, you’ll do more than that. You’ll take what she believes she can refuse to give you. And, over time, you’ll soon have her dependent upon you — humiliated and hating herself for it too. And won’t that be delicious.”

Marc was silent for a moment, still holding my nipple firmly. Still silent, he jerked his hand downward, yanking my nipple and tit with it, then gave a slight twist before letting the nipple slip away and sending my breast bouncing. Then Marc stood on his feet, “Well, tomorrow we’ll start all of that, won’t we?”

He said goodbye to Blackie, then bent down before me, towering over me and looking me in the eyes, “You have sweet dreams, Pinkie, cuz tomorrow mine begin.”

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Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Birthday Wishes?

It was the Friday before my birthday weekend. I was home with Blackie. He sat on the sofa; I was sitting at his feet in his favorite position: nude, on my knees (spread wide), my arms tightly bound behind me, back arched so that my breasts are up, with my head resting (if you can call it that) on the edge of the sofa cushion as Blackie held my hair — looped around his wrist twice then held in his right hand.

In this position, I have very little range of movement (and over time, even less comfort); Blackie has full access & control. I knew he had something in mind because I was also wearing the larger ballgag — something Blackie usually reserves for very unreserved plans (or in hotel rooms etc., when we travel, to keep my noise down).

He sat, rather ignoring me, lazily playing with a riding crop in his left hand, keeping me on edge.

There was a knock at the door. I jumped. As well as I could in my position anyway. I turned my head the inch I could and rolled my eyes at him, asking if he was expecting anyone. He steadily looked me in the eyes and said, “Marc is coming by to drop off some papers.”

Marc is this young guy, just a year or two older than I, who I actually met the same night I met Blackie. Both men were in the bar, both men were hitting on me, but Marc was just, well, a slick jerk who thought he had skills as a “playa” but didn’t. He’s annoyed — and creeped me out — ever since. Something Blackie has enjoyed every time our paths have crossed, taking delight in making me be polite while Marc drooled all over me. Now Blackie was claiming Marc was here, at our home? Invited even?

Incredulous, I thought he must be joking. If there was any mirth in my eyes, Blackie stoically watched as it faded.

“It’s open, Marc,” Blackie called.

Instinctively I tried to move, even though I knew I couldn’t. I felt Blackie’s grip on my hair tighten just a second before he yanked it soundly.

Marc appeared out of the small foyer. He stopped dead in his tracks, drinking in the scene. “Damn,” he said, trying to reinstate his air of faux cool.

“Did you bring them?” Blackie asked.

“Got ‘em right here,” he said, striding fulling into the room and proffering some papers to Blackie. Blackie, I gather, waved them away with a dismissive, “I received my copies by fax this afternoon.

“Yeah?” Marc replied, who still couldn’t take his eyes off me, a miserable blush of a mess at Blackie’s feet.

“Yeah, so why don’t you tell Pinkie here, what you’ve brought,” Blackie commanded more than asked.

Marc took a few steps forward, so that he was right before me, towering over me, and placed some pages in front of me. They were at an angle, so I couldn’t read them — not that my addled brain could have made sense of even Mother Goose at that time.

“What I’ve got here, Pinkie, are papers to fuck you — and fuck with you,” he said smugly.

I think I shook my head — to clear it, or in denial, I don’t know — but I felt the hairs strained in Blackie’s grip.

“Happy birthday, baby,” Blackie breathed onto my neck, taking a nip of my left earlobe.

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Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

The Demise Of The Three Martini Lunch Isn’t All Bad

The three martini lunch may have ended a few decades ago, but the ways I spend my lunchtime these days may be just as intoxicating for phone Masters — and it might just drive me to drink too.

Master Jim especially likes to make use of lunchtime — his & mine.

Because we are in two different time zones, he assigned me tasks for both our lunches today. First, during his lunch time, I had to do the following:

Print neatly on an index card, “I”m a slut masturbating in the bathroom for Master Jim,” take it to the bathroom and play with yourself for 10 minutes. You will not come, just make yourself so wet that after 10 minutes, you will hold up the index card with your sticky fingers & photograph it as proof and message it to me.

Then, two hours later, when it was my lunchtime:

Take two clothespins and return to the ladies’ room — not your office where you can hide — and wait for my call.

Once he called, he instructed me to pop my big tits out of my bra & place a clothespin on each nipple. Under his direction, I was then forced to twist the clothespins — trying desperately to remain silent in the public restroom so that my coworkers wouldn’t hear. While other women came in & out of the bathroom, Master Jim shamed and humiliated me…

What would happen if I made enough noise to be discovered…

What would they think of their boss, their consultant, found in the bathroom obeying a stranger, twisting her clamped nipples, the pussy juice on her thighs proof that she was a pain slut.

He was right too; the combination of nipple pain and his humiliation of me, telling me what a slut I was — especially after masturbating just hours earlier — had me very wet. In fear, shame & humiliation I whimpered & cried as silently as I could.

To make matters worse, the call only lasted five minutes — five free minutes for him to celebrate my birthday.

And he has five more minutes to use yet…

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Friday, June 12th, 2009

Protected: How Some Masters Use Me In Messages

One of the perks of using NiteFlirt is the ability to pay for services in Pay Per View messages — like this.

Master Jim sent a message for me take very small rubber bands and wrap them twice around each nipple — not very easily done with such large nipples & small rubber bands, especially when you have long nails. But the greater difficulties were still to come…

Once the rubber bands were on, my nipples began to sting — sending waves of desire in my hungry pussy. But Master Jim had ordered me not to touch myself (feeding my cunt’s desire & distracting me from the pain). I was to occupy my time by taking photos of my nipples & sending them to him for 15 minutes, until he called.

When Master Jim called, I greeted him as have been trained to and then I continued to do as I was told.

First, I was to sit with my knees up & legs spread wide in front of a mirror so that I could tell him every visible change in my pussy as well as describe what I felt. (I’ve never done that before; it added a level of emotional discomfort which Master Jim exploited further, using my own body’s reactions to pain to humiliate me.)

Thanks to Master Jim’s willingness to share, Member Masters can see a few of the photos & read more details when they enter their password below.

(If you are not a Member Master & do not have the password to see all protected or Bound Posts, here’s how you get it.)

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Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

Protected: Not Just Any Furious; Bitch Wife Furious

Blackie was quite pleased with himself for what he called his “Stay In School, Kids!” Public Service Announcement, but now that the threat was passed, I was furious.

Not just any furious; bitch wife furious.

“What the hell, Blackie,” I snapped at him, stuffing my tits back into my bra. “I could have been raped, we could have been hurt, robbed or killed–”

I was met with Blackie’s uproarious laughter, but continued my tirade anyway. “Hey, two nicely dressed business folks from out of town gettin’ down in an alley? What easy marks–”

“Get over it, Pinkie, they were kids.”

“And so then you decide to give them a lewd show? A misogynistic sex show?!

“Oh come on now,” he laughed. Then after a brief pause during which I fumed, he said, “You loved it, you slut.”

My fear had already turned to anger, but his accusation made me get really angry. “You’re an ass,” was all I spat at him, riding in silence the rest of the way to our hotel.

At the hotel, I sailed past him in an Ice Princess freeze-out, heading to our room. Sure, he was just a few strides behind me, but I was smug in the knowledge that he was forced to walk in my icy wake.

Once I got into the hotel room, I kicked my shoes off and headed for the bathroom — but before I could get there, Blackie grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked me onto the bed. Before I could even gasp, he had me on my back and was on top of me, forcefully ramming his knee between my legs, hiking my skirt up, ripping my blouse open. Even though my clothes were technically on, all my sweet spots were exposed.

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Monday, May 11th, 2009

Position For Submission

abused-again I’m a sucker for porn with this pose on the box cover.

Actually, I’m moved by this position in general. It’s such a terrifyingly vulnerable position — throat and neck held, gagged, exposed and controlled…

I don’t even have to be naked or so complicatedly bound either; just cuff my hands behind my back, put your hand or arm along my throat and bend me back (an alluring arch helps you, and keeps me off balance), and even if I’m just under a gag order as opposed to a physical gag, I feel as helpless as a kitten.

Panic sets in, my chest heaves, and I fear the worst.

Because of this, I have lots of porn with this position. Especially if it’s by Bondage Barrix.

This past week, in perverse celebration of Masturbation Month, I’ve been forced to watch porn. Yes, I say “forced” because I’m often not allowed to touch myself, let alone masturbate to orgasm. (I’m not saying that I don’t always get to orgasm afterwards, in some manner or other; but 58 minutes of video hotness is a long long time to have to wait to find out.)

The most recent videos I’ve watched are Abused Again & Recruiting A Mistress, both, again, by Bondage Barrix (part of Back Door Bondage) & featuring the malevolently delicious Sgt. Major Derek Viktur.

The two films, as you might expect, are similar; but there are differences.

bondage-barrix-recruting-a-mistressRecruiting A Mistress has the better plot — a Dominatrix is hired, but Sgt. Major takes control and switches her role to that of serving submissive. Who hasn’t thought about taming that sort of a bitch? *wink*

Recruiting A Mistress involves his (typical) smug humor (put to good use putting the professional Dominatrix in her place), plenty of tight face close-ups so you can see the fear and pain in the eyes of the women, lots of bondage & forced orgasms, but is missing his nearly trademarked extremely tight crotchrope (the Sgt Major calls it a “beaver-buster”).

It also has the added plus of some lovely lingerie and stockings, for those who adore such things.

Quite a thoroughly hot bondage romp. (Is that an oxymoron?)

Of the two movies, Abused Again is my favorite — because it makes me the most uncomfortable & afraid.

Like the other, an uppity woman, in this case a jogger who flaunts her tight ass by Sgt. Major’s apartment regularly, is abducted & forced to submit. She’s bound (including plenty of crotch rope positions), stripped, and violated; but in this case, the orgasms are forced not via vibe but by a dildo up her ass and fingers in her pussy.

My fear of my ass being used heightens the terror of such a fantasy for me.

I don’t want to ruin any surprises for anyone, but Abused Again also contains more rough breast play (including weighted nipple clamping), more spanking (what a red ass Amber Rayne gets!), an terrifyingly amazing scene where Amber pops a ball out of her ass, and some intense hot wax play — including removal by knife!

sgt-major-abused-again-wax-knife-play

Maybe this film works so well for me because it covers so much as of yet uncharted territory… But whatever, it works.

I almost always enjoy Sgt. Major Derek Viktur and Bondage Barrix films; but am usually met with surprise when I admit such things… I get that the films cater to dominant men (or men with such fantasies) — and naturally I agree these men should be catered to! — but why does it surprise so many that submissive women can’t get enough of these films too?

We’re the Yin to their Yang; without us, what would these men really do?

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Friday, May 8th, 2009

May Is Masturbation Month (And So Far I Hate It)

May may be Masturbation Month — a celebration of sexuality & self-love — but the way it’s being done here, I loath it.

Along with being humiliatingly forced to watch Blackie masturbate, I’ve been forbidden to masturbate. At first my sore breasts kept me from even thinking about it, but now…

And, as usual, Blackie has found new & cruel ways to exploit what I’m calling my Blue Ovaries.

After having been forced to watch Blackie masturbate as he humiliated me (one of several times that day), I was told to strip and then he cuffed me to a desk chair, tied each ankle to a part of the chair’s base (so that my legs were spread), wheeled out into the living room and made to watch porn — porn that I love — with him.

That would have been bad enough, but Blackie had to add his own painful, humiliating twists…

First he mocked me, talking about what scenes he knew I loved — where I’d be masturbating and how. He even came up and looked between my spread legs, commenting on the glistening evidence of my slutty shame.

When he grew sleepy, about 30 minutes later, he got up off the couch, switched off the porn, and placed a rope with a cowbell on it around my neck.

“Now, I’m going to bed — but I can’t trust that you’ll behave yourself…” he said as he bent and — for the first time in a week! — he fingered my wet slit. “Not this wet, I can’t, cunt,” he continued. “So, I”m leaving you here where you can’t break any rules — but don’t worry, I’m leaving you this bell. When you have to pee, you wake me.”

He stopped for a minute, had me suck his finger clean of my pussy juices, then continued.

“But I wouldn’t be too eager to wake me, if I were you… It might put me in a foul mood to be disturbed just for your stupid needs. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“Then again, I might not hear the bell right away, so don’t wait too long to use it either,” he said with a wicked laugh. Then he headed for bed, leaving me sitting in the dark, horny as hell — with a cowbell around my neck.

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Friday, May 8th, 2009

Protected: Torment Continues

Sleeping sucked; every time I rolled over, I woke up due to such sore and sensitive breasts. It reminded me of how much I dreaded another shower (even if it was cooler than the one I’d just had) — and wearing clothes. What bra could possibly be comfortable? So even though sleeping was horrid, I was dreading getting up.

===

I managed to make it through a cooler shower. I dried off and dabbed my tender breasts as best I could to minimize the pain.

I went to the medicine chest for what I imagined was my only hope for some comfort, Whoop-Ass Healing Balm. But the tube was gone — in fact, Blackie had cleared the entire house of any & all lotions and creams. No wonder he got up so damn early this morning.

So next it was time to suffer the torment of stuffing angry raw skin into bra cups. Nothing lacy (that would be unbearable!); something with large soft cups to snuggly hold them, so there’s be the least amount of rubbing from the bra and clothing worn over it.

If I solved my immediate breast discomfort, I knew it would only be a few hours until I met Blackie for lunch.

He’d said not to be late, so I knew he had something in mind.

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Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

Protected: Miserable Morning

Follow-up to last night’s tit torture and emotional humiliation.

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Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

Protected: The Most Humiliating Hurtful Punishment Yet

Blackie’s so angry at my earlier embarrassing failure with the UK Dom’s instruction that he hasn’t touched me since that domesticated kiss of perfunctory purity on my cheek before bed. Even though I pleased the UK Dom last night, I can feel Blackie’s cold anger & disdain growing daily…

I wish it was a hot anger, combined with a cock full of unspent come, which would make him mount me and use me for his pleasure; but it’s not. I think it’s my forced posting of my shame here which continues to shame him — even thought it’s not is fault in anyway; I and my services are a reflection of him.

But now that I have met the UK Dom’s task, Blackie has set himself to seriously punishing me himself.

And this is the worst thing yet.

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  • Pinkie and Blackie...
    The colors of our love... Not just our shopping (which is what primarily what will be covered still at the old blog), but the colors that I as a pain slut prefer to wear...


    I am not called Pinkie because my coloring is naturally pink -- but I am naturally a pain slut, and love to be made pink from spankings & other physical abuse which leaves marks, welts, and, sometimes, cuts... Blackie also thrills to make me flush pink with shame, humiliation and arousal.


    He was called Blackie long before I met him.

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