Member Master Derek sent me this photo with the following note:
Spotted this photo and instantly thought of our last party – however, what I see here is a greatly missed opportunity. Your task is to tell me what you think it is – what would your just desserts be?
Master Derek has also told me to share this — with Master Members only.
Tags: anal, entertaining, humiliation, lessons for bitches, more than two tango, power play, serving, tools and toys
This photo by Vlad Gansovsky captures my discomfort with any sort of anal attentions.
Tags: anal, humiliation, pain not pleasure
I’ve been sweating out Blackie & Marc’s reactions to my recent failure… I know they know. I sent my emailed confession, and they check the blog and my NF messages at least daily when they are away… But so far, they’re letting me stew in worry and anxiety.
In fact, they have not contacted me at all about their return date (last I heard, it could be any time between now and Monday night) and I’m supposed to pick them up at the airport.
Their silence is deafening.
Or at least it was.
Marc’s broken his stoic vow by sending me a link to this image and just four words: your Ass Is Mine.
He probably didn’t even have to say those four words, a picture being worth a thousand of them and all. But I suppose he didn’t want any ambiguity about which hole he’d be using.
So now the anxiety of the unknown has been replaced by the anxiety of knowing. At least as far as Marc goes; Blackie still has me suffering under his silence.
Intellectually I know that both are applying techniques to heighten my anticipation — but this knowledge does nothing to stem the fear. My throat gasps as if a hand was there choking, my breasts heave in response. And my asshole quivers in fear.
I hear people talking about how things never live up to their expectations, but this is one time where I don’t think I’ll be so lucky. Maybe it’s because I’m betting my ass, and my ass is always a sore loser.
Tags: anal, BDSM relationships, big breasts, fear, pain not pleasure, power play, serving
Marc sent me these images from Sex & Submission — because he knew they’d terrify me:
He says he can make me like anything — even beg for it, if it’s the only way I can orgasm. Especially if he applies the Hitachi.
I think it looks horrific.
He says I must put it on my wish list.
He thought seeing that there’s a ball on the tip, as opposed to the spike I’d imagined, I’d “loosen up” and like it — but then he was laughing at me because he knows I don’t like anything in my ass. It hurts for days.
Yet we all know, it’s not my choice.
Tags: anal, bound, pain not pleasure, tools and toys
What is it about the mad scientist fantasy? Is it all the tools? Some say it’s the automatic authority of doctors and medical science which seduces with trust and plays on fears.
I love how the scenes go from her vulnerable trusting sleep to dark fantasy — and of course there’s plenty of bondage and rough tit play to make me wet with desire. The forced orgasms make me weak with my own humiliation. And the anal sex is still an exploited fear.
Tags: anal, cock sucking, nipples, pain as pleasure, rough tit play, spanking, tied up
Marc likes to play with my asshole.
He knows that my entire sexual life had been based on the “exit only” philosophy, and that Blackie’s never had any interest in backdoor action.
Marc knows that my “exit only” philosophy is primarily based on painful trial and bleeding-rectum error — yes, lube and slow training was used, I’ve just got a tiny tight asshole.
Not only do I not like to bled and suffer anal discomfort for weeks, but I’ve got a girlie sense of vanity which makes me live in fear of my asshole looking like this gaping awaiting hole someone could fall into:
(Image via Explicite-Art.)
Knowing all of this, Marc likes to torment me by playing with my ass.
He likes to slowly take his time, over days and nights, to gently pry it open painful bit by painful bit. Then leave it alone for weeks, so that it’s nice and tight and normal feeling before he begins all over again.
And to keep me fearful when my ass is not full, he likes to show me what he’ll one day do to me. Like sending me images and videos which freak me out and make me cringe. Images and videos like these from Latex Angel:
(Click the pic to watch the video if you want to be impressed/horrified.)
Words do not express how frightening this particular video of double fisting — one in the cunt, the other fist in the ass — is.
Tonight, while waiting for phone calls, Marc made me watch it — while I bent my bare bottom over my computer desk chair, proffering him access. The first time, I just held my breath, holding myself as till as he was.
The second time, Marc trailed his fingertip slowly along my anal cleft in a most menacing fashion.
The third time he spread my ass cheeks wide open, fingered around my ass hole and told me how one day he’d do that to me. As I trembled beneath his touch, he swept his fingers along my slit and found his wet reward — my pussy dripping with fear, not lust. He laughed and left me to my phone calls.
Tags: anal, fear, fisting, humiliation
What I love about this story at Slaves In Love (titled Her Right) is not just the punishing abuse her Master gives out…
Or that she takes it all while sobbing so hard…
But that he takes short breaks from delivering the abuse to give her reassuring, comforting kisses of love…
It’s just those sorts of kisses which keep a submissive slave craving, trying, submitting.
Of course, there are times, like when he’s taking a rather large dildo to her ass while whipping her behind, that she’ll just have the memory of those kisses to get her through…
Psst, click the text links to see free clips!
Tags: anal, BDSM relationships, clamps, dildo, pain as pleasure, rough tit play, sub space is divine
I’m a sucker for porn with this pose on the box cover.
Actually, I’m moved by this position in general. It’s such a terrifyingly vulnerable position — throat and neck held, gagged, exposed and controlled…
I don’t even have to be naked or so complicatedly bound either; just cuff my hands behind my back, put your hand or arm along my throat and bend me back (an alluring arch helps you, and keeps me off balance), and even if I’m just under a gag order as opposed to a physical gag, I feel as helpless as a kitten.
Panic sets in, my chest heaves, and I fear the worst.
Because of this, I have lots of porn with this position. Especially if it’s by Bondage Barrix.
This past week, in perverse celebration of Masturbation Month, I’ve been forced to watch porn. Yes, I say “forced” because I’m often not allowed to touch myself, let alone masturbate to orgasm. (I’m not saying that I don’t always get to orgasm afterwards, in some manner or other; but 58 minutes of video hotness is a long long time to have to wait to find out.)
The most recent videos I’ve watched are Abused Again & Recruiting A Mistress, both, again, by Bondage Barrix (part of Back Door Bondage) & featuring the malevolently delicious Sgt. Major Derek Viktur.
The two films, as you might expect, are similar; but there are differences.
Recruiting A Mistress has the better plot — a Dominatrix is hired, but Sgt. Major takes control and switches her role to that of serving submissive. Who hasn’t thought about taming that sort of a bitch? *wink*
Recruiting A Mistress involves his (typical) smug humor (put to good use putting the professional Dominatrix in her place), plenty of tight face close-ups so you can see the fear and pain in the eyes of the women, lots of bondage & forced orgasms, but is missing his nearly trademarked extremely tight crotchrope (the Sgt Major calls it a “beaver-buster”).
It also has the added plus of some lovely lingerie and stockings, for those who adore such things.
Quite a thoroughly hot bondage romp. (Is that an oxymoron?)
Of the two movies, Abused Again is my favorite — because it makes me the most uncomfortable & afraid.
Like the other, an uppity woman, in this case a jogger who flaunts her tight ass by Sgt. Major’s apartment regularly, is abducted & forced to submit. She’s bound (including plenty of crotch rope positions), stripped, and violated; but in this case, the orgasms are forced not via vibe but by a dildo up her ass and fingers in her pussy.
My fear of my ass being used heightens the terror of such a fantasy for me.
I don’t want to ruin any surprises for anyone, but Abused Again also contains more rough breast play (including weighted nipple clamping), more spanking (what a red ass Amber Rayne gets!), an terrifyingly amazing scene where Amber pops a ball out of her ass, and some intense hot wax play — including removal by knife!
Maybe this film works so well for me because it covers so much as of yet uncharted territory… But whatever, it works.
I almost always enjoy Sgt. Major Derek Viktur and Bondage Barrix films; but am usually met with surprise when I admit such things… I get that the films cater to dominant men (or men with such fantasies) — and naturally I agree these men should be catered to! — but why does it surprise so many that submissive women can’t get enough of these films too?
We’re the Yin to their Yang; without us, what would these men really do?
Tags: anal, humiliation, power play, rough tit play, spanking, tied up
Ever since my intensity for BDSM grew, I’ve been keeping a secret diary. It’s written to Blackie because I was hoping to share my dark, shame-filled secrets with him — when I was brave enough. Only that brave day hasn’t really arrived yet…
Of course he knows about the diary — and likely nothing in there will surprise him much anyway — but I’ve never shared it with him because the intensity of my fantasies and fear of what they mean are still sometimes larger than my desire to submit. I feel too vulnerable…
I suppose it’s the last bit of my control… Some secrets that I still have — that left unexposed I think can will protect me.
But Blackie has decided that one of my punishments (from the ill-fated call from the UK Dom that didn’t go through) is that I must select one of these deep dark secret diary entries and share it here, as a Bound Post, to assist the men who use and abuse me.
Ah, the humiliation at exposing my secrets — and the horror of having my own secrets turned weapon against me…
Tags: anal, BDSM relationships, humiliation, pain not pleasure, power play
