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Anticipation Category

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

19 Minutes Is A Long Time To Watch

I don’t know who made (or is in) this classic bondage video, but I was ordered to watch it — and let me tell you, after sleep deprivation and 15 spankings, a 19 minute video of a busty blond being roped and manhandled would have been difficult enough under no orgasm orders, but watching it with clothespins on your nipples made it darn near impossible.

Lots of rough tit play, including tight tit bondage, rough massaging and nipple clamps. And note how her pussy lips are roped too. The anticipation is killing me — just fuck her — and me — already!

Submissive ladies, I know you’re here because of the emails I get; so tell me, how did you fare watching it?

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Monday, May 10th, 2010

The Not-Knowing State Of Being A Submissive

There’s something about the not-knowing in the life of a submissive…

You don’t know what, or when, or, sometimes, even who.

Which is not to say that I don’t have control of anything. For example, I just scheduled a call for next week Wednesday, agreeing not only to be ready (naked with the listed toys and tools) but to have no orgasms between now and then.

That’s 10 days of controlling myself — even when serving.

So I may not know what’s to come, but I do I’m not supposed to.  And if I do, I can expect a punishment. But I don’t know exactly what that will be either.

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Sunday, March 28th, 2010

New Meanings To “Having Your Back”

There’s something so vulnerable — and terrifyingly delicious — about having your naked backside and holes exposed to a man… You can’t see what’s coming, you can’t defend yourself well, and you know you’re so exposed that you can be taken easily. Triple it when you are held still by another man.  Even if you know both of them.

usemywife_handslide

PS Blackie obviously loves the site name, Use My Wife .com, but feels there’s not enough rough stuff in use of the wives.

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Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

This Is A Fear Of Mine

Marc likes to play with my asshole.

He knows that my entire sexual life had been based on the “exit only” philosophy, and that Blackie’s never had any interest in backdoor action.

Marc knows that my “exit only” philosophy is primarily based on painful trial and bleeding-rectum error — yes, lube and slow training was used, I’ve just got a tiny tight asshole.

Not only do I not like to bled and suffer anal discomfort for weeks, but I’ve got a girlie sense of vanity which makes me live in fear of my asshole looking like this gaping awaiting hole someone could fall into:

anal_spreading_giant_gaping-asshole

(Image via Explicite-Art.)

Knowing all of this, Marc likes to torment me by playing with my ass.

He likes to slowly take his time, over days and nights, to gently pry it open painful bit by painful bit. Then leave it alone for weeks, so that it’s nice and tight and normal feeling before he begins all over again.

And to keep me fearful when my ass is not full, he likes to show me what he’ll one day do to me. Like sending me images and videos which freak me out and make me cringe. Images and videos like these from Latex Angel:

double-penetration-fisting-anal-and-pussy-fisting

(Click the pic to watch the video if you want to be impressed/horrified.)

Words do not express how frightening this particular video of double fisting — one in the cunt, the other fist in the ass — is.

Tonight, while waiting for phone calls, Marc made me watch it — while I bent my bare bottom over my computer desk chair, proffering him access. The first time, I just held my breath, holding myself as till as he was.

The second time, Marc trailed his fingertip slowly along my anal cleft in a most menacing fashion.

The third time he spread my ass cheeks wide open, fingered around my ass hole and told me how one day he’d do that to me. As I trembled beneath his touch, he swept his fingers along my slit and found his wet reward — my pussy dripping with fear, not lust. He laughed and left me to my phone calls.

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Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Protected: Spring Break For Pinkie (Schedule For The Week)

Blackie’s away on business for the week, so Marc’s been put in charge of my schedule — and he’s calling it “Break Pinkie Week.”

More information on my week is available below for Member Masters only, but these are some of my hours of availability on the phone (as always, you can message me at NiteFlirt to arrange an appointment that best suits your schedule) and a few notes to let you know what I’ll be up to.

Marc says he hopes publishing these facts about my use will wet my slit with anticipatory fear — and allow Member Masters to make the most of my physical and emotional situation.

Today, Monday:

  • Work on my blogging while wearing a vibe for an hour (right now!)
  • Free Master Member chat — first come, first served — from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM (Central time)
  • Awaiting calls from 11 PM to 1 AM (Central time)

Tuesday:

  • Noon until ? Lunch with Marc (will include a bare bottom spanking at my office)
  • Awaiting calls from 11 PM to 1 AM (Central time)

Wednesday:

  • Noon until ? Lunch with Marc (details for Master Members only)
  • Awaiting calls from 11 PM to 1 AM (Central time)

Thursday:

  • May have some time for calls &/or chat between 2 PM and 4 PM (Central time)
  • Cleaning at Marc’s
  • Serving at Marc’s poker game from 8 PM to 1 AM (Central time)

Friday:

  • Awaiting calls (and Master Member contest!) from 6 PM to 6 AM (Central time)

Saturday:

Will be available for calls &/or exclusive all day use. Please schedule asap so that I can accommodate you and Marc can prepare me for you, if desired.

Additional details for Member Masters is below; if you are not a Member Master & do not have the password, here’s how you get it.

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:


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Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Birthday Wishes, Part Two

After being struck by the news that my birthday gift was to be put into some service for Marc I was understandably shocked; gagged-speechless, unable to move, there was nothing I could say or do but try to absorb the information as it came in.

Millions of concerns and questions circled in my mind… My intense dislike of Marc, though, paled in contrast to worry about the potential relationship consequences of being used by another man — did Blackie really know what he was doing to us?

As Blackie and Marc joked about how Marc would have to get himself a drink from the bar because I was “tied up at the moment,” I swallowed hard and tried to clear my head so that I could pay attention to whatever information I might learn. By the time Marc returned with his glass I thought I had composed myself; but when he sat on sofa, on the side opposite Blackie, resting his left thigh against my naked body, I jumped. At least on the inside.

Both men sat there, discussing whatever was on TV (I was completely oblivious to it by this time), as if this was just the same-old-same-old, while I tried to calm myself down. Fear was tightening in my throat. I could feel moisture growing under my arms. I tried to concentrate on slowing & controlling my breathing.

Blackie, who knows me so well, likely was aware of my efforts; so it was probably no coincidence that once I had more control of myself that the men began to talk about me — and talk about me as if I wasn’t there, or as if I were some object, not a sentient being.

“So, tomorrow morning, 8 A.M.?” Blackie casually confirmed.

“Yup, right after I do those few things on your list,” Marc replied before taking a swig from his glass, the ice tinkling as if laughing at me too.

“Because you know, we should celebrate the whole day, even if Pinkie isn’t really a morning person…” Blackie began then smugly chortled, “Not that I imagine she will sleep well at all tonight.”

“Eager little beaver, hmm?” Marc mocked.

“Oh, I imagine the anticipation will keep her as up tonight as her nipples are right now,” Blackie laughed, punctuating his point by tweaking my left nipple.

“Lovely, just lovely…” Marc said. “May I?”

“Of course!” was Blackie’s gracious reply.

And with that, Marc took a firm grip of my right nipple, slowly rolling it between his thumb and forefinger.

“Now, that Marc, is not a flush of arousal; it’s a flush of anger,” Blackie pointed out, “A most delicious thing to see…”

“I suppose it is when you know you can wipe that smug refusal away anytime you wish,” Marc said, changing his grasp of my captured nipple from a firm rolling motion to a tight press that continued to hold as Blackie spoke.

“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll soon be doing what you want, when you want, no matter what her face says — in fact, you’ll do more than that. You’ll take what she believes she can refuse to give you. And, over time, you’ll soon have her dependent upon you — humiliated and hating herself for it too. And won’t that be delicious.”

Marc was silent for a moment, still holding my nipple firmly. Still silent, he jerked his hand downward, yanking my nipple and tit with it, then gave a slight twist before letting the nipple slip away and sending my breast bouncing. Then Marc stood on his feet, “Well, tomorrow we’ll start all of that, won’t we?”

He said goodbye to Blackie, then bent down before me, towering over me and looking me in the eyes, “You have sweet dreams, Pinkie, cuz tomorrow mine begin.”

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Friday, May 1st, 2009

The Answer Is Denial — What Was The Question Again?

Denial has become the answer to so many of our relationship problems with BDSM that it’s hard to list them all.

Denying me, the pain slut, the punishing pleasure I seek is one way that Blackie keeps the upper hand — emotionally, physically & sexually — giving him all the power to decide what, when and where. Surrendering to Blackie’s whims & desires has me living in a state of near perpetual anticipatory lust — but that too is handled with denial.

For example, one of our regular activities is to watch The Girls Next Door. But the rules are quite specific. Before the show begins, I’m to make the following preparations:

* Get topless
* Set up a TV tray next to Blackie’s favorite spot on the couch
* On the tray, I place a glass of his favorite beverage, a bottle of lube & two towels

(Just writing this is making my cunt ache with nearly programed desire.)

When Blackie sits on the sofa, I’m to sit at his feet, facing him, watching him as he watches the show so that when he wordlessly unzips his jeans, I can get on my knees and give him head.

Sometimes he doesn’t unzip, but just absentmindedly plays with my tits… gently rubbing the nipples, occasionally pinching them hard… making me squirm with hopeful desire…

Maybe he will unzip, allow me to suck his cock while he looks at the blonds from Playboy, filling my mouth with his hot load but leaving me with my unsatisfied, wanting cunt.

Maybe he will grab my tits and tell me he wants to fuck them. I’ll lube his cock with my hand, slowly & lovingly, until he tells me to stop. Then he’ll smash them around his hard cock and massage my big breasts roughly to his own orgasm.

Sometimes, he just cruelly pinch-holds the nipples and has me press my breasts around his cock while he thrusts away until he sprays his hot happiness on my tits — while my pussy throbs with wishes that it had the friction, thrusting and spray.

And when he’s done, I just have to sit there at his feet.

I’m emotionally happy that I’ve served him — but physically I’m left aching and wanting. I’ve not just been denied orgasm, but any attention or pleasure I’ve received was the accidental byproduct of his own pleasure.

On rare occasions though, I am fucked during the show.

If he’s in the mood, he’ll yank me by the hair away from sucking his hard cock or take his hard cock away from my breasts and bark a position for me to take. Usually when this occurs, I’m so hot, wet and horny that my orgasm is nearly instant.

For this I am mocked & humiliated.

I’m a dirty eager slut.
I’m a wet whore.
I’m nothing but a cum-bucket.
I exist solely to be his fuck object — and everyone knows it.

And quite often, because he knows how easy I am, before he mounts me he’ll tell me I am not allowed to come until (meaning “if and when”) he tells me otherwise.

Denying me orgasm is his order, but I cannot always manage to hold it back.

It’s my shame.

I’ve tried to explain that it’s because he turns me on so, that I love him so much, that it’s not my fault that his big hard cock brings me to orgasm so easily (and multiple times). But Blackie won’t accept that. He’s given me an order and I have failed to carry it out.

It’s my shame that I’m such a lusty hole that I’m unable to follow his orders.

And for displeasing him I’ll be punished. Not with spankings, tit whippings or even a clamp on my clit; I’m punished with denial. And not just the denial of beautiful searing pain which sends my pussy into a frenzy either.

The next time The Girls Next Door is on (or another time of Blackie’s choice), I know that because I’ve failed him I won’t deserve to be penetrated. I’ll be back in that position at his feet, only allowed to service him and swallow his seed or wear it on my chest, and not have my pussy fed.

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Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

Ahh, The Anticipation Of…

A man’s hands on my breasts…

holding-breasts

Sometimes, just having them held, still, makes me hold my breath… Waiting (and hoping!) for the manhandling to come… Look at the fingertip, just resting on the nipple — I can feel my nipples rise in mutual sympathetic arousal of such sweet agony!

Photo via IdealBoobs.com.

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