Ever since my intensity for BDSM grew, I’ve been keeping a secret diary. It’s written to Blackie because I was hoping to share my dark, shame-filled secrets with him — when I was brave enough. Only that brave day hasn’t really arrived yet…
Of course he knows about the diary — and likely nothing in there will surprise him much anyway — but I’ve never shared it with him because the intensity of my fantasies and fear of what they mean are still sometimes larger than my desire to submit. I feel too vulnerable…
I suppose it’s the last bit of my control… Some secrets that I still have — that left unexposed I think can will protect me.
But Blackie has decided that one of my punishments (from the ill-fated call from the UK Dom that didn’t go through) is that I must select one of these deep dark secret diary entries and share it here, as a Bound Post, to assist the men who use and abuse me.
Ah, the humiliation at exposing my secrets — and the horror of having my own secrets turned weapon against me…
Tags: anal, BDSM relationships, humiliation, pain not pleasure, power play
