Making me come has always been easy for Blackie — at least I feel he’s always played me like a fiddle, plucking my strings, until I sing over & over & over again. Once we both discovered what a pain slut I am, it only became easier.
Sure, at first it was a tentative exploration of what was pain that brought an immediate pleasure response, what was pain that hurt at the time yet left me with a sensitivity that made me both remember the pain & the sex and so made me crave more, and what was just plain old pain. But pretty quickly it became clear that what didn’t fall into the first category fell into the second — and that anything that might fall into the third was probably something dangerous to the point of stupidity anyway. So it was pretty much all good from where I sat (on my pink bottom!).
Most people (who can at least wrap their minds around the pain as pleasure sexual response) think that pain is a natural part of dominance and submission. It sure seems logical. But whatever assumptions Blackie and I made about the easy marriage between pain sluts and dominance were quickly challenged.
Because I wanted to be spanked, whipped, paddled, pinched, bound, clamped & mouse-trapped — and doing so only made me a horny slut nearly humping (wet, not dry!) on his pant leg — we found ourselves in the situation with me begging and whining, and, yes, even demanding, more punishments, fucking and sexual attentions rather than having Blackie dictating & directing… And what could the consequences of such inappropriate behaviors be if safe & sane punishment was what I sought?
We were left with the very simple question: What is to be my punishment if I am such a pain slut?
The answer was denial.
Part of our experiments in collaring taught me to accept that whining, begging and asking would only further delay what I wanted… I had to learn to accept — and therefore really discover — the joys of the delicious ambiguity of submitting to Blackie’s whims & desires. Learning that denial could be not only be a punishment (not having “my abuse,” as I call it), but keep me hovering in the tipsy state of aroused anticipation is opening a whole new world for us.
To Be Continued
Tags: BDSM relationships, pain as pleasure, Pinkie and Blackie history
[...] me, the pain slut, the punishing pleasure I seek is one way that Blackie keeps the upper hand — emotionally, [...]